Volition
by tonyamic10
Summary: Bella was living the life she dreamed of. Her heart was stitched together by her one true love, until an unexpected tragedy struck. Embry appeared one day to find her shredded, alone and lost in limbo. The new relationship slowly seals the cracks of her heart, but guilt and regret prevent her from having complete healing. Full summary inside. [AU, (Embry/Bella) Jacob]
1. Chapter 1:Clinging

_**~A/N This is a new pairing for me, but I'm going to give it try. When I first heard Taylor Swift's "Style" I immediately thought Embry Call. My mind played with the idea of a one shot for a little while, but I decided to make a multi-chapter story instead. It's probably going to be short and not so sweet. The song portrays a mysterious relationship, so I wondered what events might produce those types of meetings. Here's what my imagination created. It's sad, it's angst, tragedy in the worst way. I was crying halfway through the second chapter, so there's your warning. This may or may not be an HEA story. **_

**Summary:** Bella was living the life she dreamed of. Her heart was stitched together by her one true love, until an unexpected tragedy struck. Embry appeared one day to find her shredded, alone and lost in limbo. The new relationship slowly seals the cracks of her heart, but guilt and regret prevent her from having complete healing. Someone needs to let go of the past, will it happen in time? Inspired by Taylor Swift's song, "Style." [AU, (Embry/Bella), Jacob]

**Disclaimer:**_ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Volition**

Chapter 1: Clinging

Her cell vibrated against the bathroom counter. She normally had it there for background noise during long, soothing soaks. The music continued on, the phone jiggled once again. Two, back to back. _It might be, _she imagined. She didn't know why he'd waited so long to reach out. Although, she brought up a sensitive subject last time. Maybe, he was finally trying to permanently distance himself. She hadn't given him an ultimatum, but she'd often rehearsed doing that very thing.

Bella lied to herself every time she sat her phone there. It wasn't just for music. Some nights he texted late. Most of the time it was the typical check in: H**ey what's up? You've been doing okay?**

She sat up before dunking her head like she planned to do before the two skips in the music. It was decision time: emerge herself deep into the water until she had to rise up for air or jump out and check that blasted cell phone. What he said in those short texts would make her wardrobe decision. She'd be comfy in yoga pants and a tank top married to Netflix with a bowl of popcorn the next few hours or she'd be decked out in a chic little number with her lips painted red if he made the request. It was pathetic, she didn't have to jump into action whenever he suggested. Just once she wished she'd respond,"Nah, I have plans." But he'd know that was a lie. She never had plans anymore. She wiped her hand and leaned over the tub, one foot in, one out. Was she in or out? Was she strong enough to hang tight to her dignity? Her dry thumb swiped the screen.

**30 minutes, meet me out front**

Loneliness always trumped dignity. She went into action.

**OK**

One more request after a long pause.

**Wear the last thing I sent**

It was completely accidental how they got in the routine of being dressed to the nines. She visited his new place to see his converted studio room almost two years prior. He had been building a collection of clothing for models. She admired a very sleek black dress hanging in the wardrobe. It was so lovely, but she'd never owned a piece of clothing anything like it. She didn't think she had even tried on such a thing. He handed the dress to her and asked her to try it on. At first, she dismissed the idea, but he persisted. Once Bella gave in to his pleadings, he got out some equipment and snapped a few candids. She was embarrassed at first, but she eventually came out of her shell and he made her feel attractive, different from her normal self. He told her to keep it and she did. In fact, she was wearing it their first time. There were many more outfits and gifts. That was his way. Verbal sentiments and deep conversations were not. She missed having someone that listened, but she took what she could get. More evidence, that she was still in a bad place.

* * *

Straightening out her skirt, she took one final look. She had numerous black skirts. The newest one was fitted, short with a shiny sheen. The sand colored crop top was tight and exposed her shoulders and midriff. The outfit was complete with gold bracelets and a long chain. The strappy five inch heels were the icing on the cake. It would please him, that's why he bought it all. She no longer felt self-conscious in such things. No one, but him ever saw her. Learning to do the makeup and wear the heels were more of a challenge in the beginning, but she was use to those things finally. It had been almost a year. She was exactly how he liked her and he was having the best of both worlds wrapped in a tight little skirt. No commitment, no expectations, no feelings but the lies continued to pour out of her. She did feel something, maybe he did as well, but the very idea terrified them both. He'd actually stated his true feelings in the beginning, but after things went on between them, he distanced himself from such confessions. Was there even one shred of honesty between them?

Bella was by no means, a fashionista, but he took his hobby to the art institute and was growing a successful photography business. He introduced her to new things. He developed an eye for style, expensive taste and women. How many women was the question she often asked herself? Did it matter? Yes, to her, it mattered a whole hell of a lot, but she always pretended otherwise.

Bella couldn't help herself, she always glanced at her wedding portrait before meeting him. With him...she would have never looked the way she did at that moment. He wouldn't have known what to think about the expensive clothes and layers of makeup. They were a jeans and tee shirt sorta couple. They were everything to one another and yet she was practically his best friend's mistress. It just went to show her how one tiny choice changed the entire course of her life.

She promised Jake her love. They pledged their lives together in front of their families, the pack, and half the reservation. In fact, he was the very one that stood up with them...the best man. That seemed like another lifetime ago, a different place in the universe, a different version of herself. She could never get any of that back. She clung to worn out photos, special memories and empty sheets each night.

But on the rare occasions, he called...she clung to Embry.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**Anyone up for this?**_


	2. Chapter 2:Just a Kiss

**_~This one's longer. Hopefully, the feelings of angst will make more sense once you read this next update. Thanks so much for reviewing. It's always fun to see who's interested right off the bat with a new fic._**

Chapter 2: Just a Kiss

Typical, he was always running late. It gave her time to reminisce, possibly figure out why or how she'd gotten in her current predicament. Bella Black lived in a small clapboard cabin not too far from the beaches of La Push. She was essentially sandwiched in between the Lahotes and the Camerons. They all looked out for her, perhaps a little too much. She often felt smothered, but it was still a comfort at the same time. It had been her home for four years, ever since Jacob convinced her "What the hell, let's get married." It didn't matter that they were too young, relatively poor, struggling college students and had no concrete idea about what they wanted to do for the future. It still made sense. He had rescued her figuratively and literally the day he stopped her from jumping off a cliff to hear Edward's voice.

She often thought back to that day. It was the wake up call she needed. "Get busy living or get busy dying." He said to her on the edge of the cliffs.

"Did you just make that up?"

"Nay, Morgan Freeman said it in a movie, but it's good, huh?"

She laughed at the silly, lovesick boy in front of her, but she was convinced she fell in love with him that moment. They never looked back. The pack found Victoria the following week and the threat of murderous vampires were a distant memory. There were still occasional nomads which were extremely dangerous, she knew all too well, but none with specific vendettas against her.

The original pack was smaller in numbers now, as no new ones joined after the first eight. It was only Seth, Quil, Jared and Paul currently. Leah was off finding herself free from the shackles of the reservation and Sam, who'd also retired the wolf to raise a family with Emily. Seth was alpha. He had big shoes to fill, but they all had lots of confidence in him.

She and Jacob had it all in terms of happiness during their courtship and early marriage. Their fathers were like brothers, they were surrounded by a close knit pack and enjoyed the most passionate, loving relationship she could have ever asked for. It was almost perfect...best friends turned lovers. Neither could ever find their niche in college so Jacob and some of the guys got a garage going after years of fixing cars in the front yard. Business was getting better and better.

Emily's sister was struggling with a bakery she'd started. When she asked Emily to rescue her, she brought reinforcements. Bella and Emily put the bakery on the map in PA and they bought out the sister who never real had a passion for the company. She and Jacob soon were celebrating their two year wedding anniversary, as well as being successful business owners. It had been about the best week of her life. One evening after an amazing night of lovemaking, he suggested she get off the pill while she was catching her breath sprawled across his perfect body.

His hands stroked through her thick hair. She swore she could still conjure his touch at times. She remembered his pleads like they were yesterday. "Come on, Bells. I'm ready."

"But we're just getting settled and I'm in the bakery more than I'm home. Is that fair to a baby?"

He had a valid argument for every situation, "It's a family place, we can put a crib in the office. The baby will be with you. Come on, pretty please. Won't I make a good dad?"

"Oh my gosh, yes...the best." She admitted she was supposed to start a new pack of pills the next morning, but she didn't. She fell asleep in his arms and dreamed of their little boy or girl the rest of the night. If only that child ever had the chance to be born.

* * *

The sunrise never came in her opinion. A howl rang out in the wee hours of the night and Jacob kissed her quick. "Gotta go check it out honey. I'll be back in a jiff. Don't you dare leave that bed. We're staying here all day tomorrow to practice our baby making. I won't stop until we get it right." She drifted off to sleep again never having any notion that was the last thing he'd ever say to her.

Her father came to deliver the news. He knew all about her husband and his pack before they were married. It seemed right to be honest if they were all family. Charlie needed a good stiff drink afterwards, but he accepted it and loved Jacob like a son.

"Bells, honey...they were ambushed. The group was powerful and treacherous...there were four of them. I'm sorry no one saw it coming, not even him." She didn't understand, the pack always made it out of their vampire encounters with barely a scratch. His final statement brought her to her knees. "Jake didn't make it."

Her father had to be wrong. Jacob would heal. He was strong, he was alpha. Her Jake was invincible, but as soon as the pack descended on her, she heard it over and over. They were so sorry.

They'd lost their brother. The entire Quiluete tribe was mourning. She had no idea how to go on. Nothing worked without him. They had a life and a future and it was all stripped away. It wasn't until after the funeral that she found out there was division in the pack. Rachel said what Paul considered to be the truth. She made a cold comment about how Embry had screwed up and now her brother was dead. Something he did or didn't do enabled the vampire to get a hold of Jacob. Bella hushed up her sister in law. Jacob wouldn't want that sort of finger pointing. It was an accident, no one's fault but the creature that murdered him. The strange looks and aloof behavior by some of the others made her realize Paul and Rachel weren't the only ones blaming Embry. She'd later find out Seth, Leah and Quil were the only ones supporting him. Embry was the worst of all. He blamed himself and was riddled with guilt. He waited almost a month before coming over to talk face to face.

He looked terrible. She could tell he'd been drinking and it had to be a lot for him to seem so affected. She made them coffee and asked him to sit with her on the couch. They talked about everything, they cried together...even managed to laugh some. They pretty much grieved the entire night. Bella woke up before the dawn with Embry passed out in her lap. He looked almost like a lost, little boy. She gently rubbed stray pieces of hair off his forehead and hoped that it was the end of his guilt. He soon stirred and sat up. She told him he could freshen up after she visited the bathroom and then she'd make them some breakfast. It was the first morning since it happened that she woke up with a little bit of an appetite. He offered to clean up the kitchen and she let him, so she could have a shower. When she came out with a towel wrapped around her wet hair and her typical casual attire, he caught her by surprise when he said she looked nice. It was definitely not a great look, but Embry had always been friendly, just quiet. They had some food but he still seemed in no hurry to leave. They sat back down and talked some more. Conversation turned back into more of his apologies. She insisted they weren't necessary. "Why are Paul and some of the guys acting this way towards you? I don't understand." This wasn't how Jake's pack ever behaved. Did they miss his direction that much, they were already imploding? She got it, of course, she felt that way every second. She was his wife, his mate...not his imprint, but he told her long ago, "Screw imprinting." They didn't need it and he was right.

Embry was tentative with his strange admission, "Because a few of them know."

"Know what?"

He got very still and silent. She touched him on the shoulder. "Please, tell me. What do they think they know?" The dissension was eating away at her and she knew Embry was miserable.

He stared at her. She could feel how despondent he was. His brothers had been alienating him, but why? He finally uttered a few words quietly, "How I feel."

"Feel? I'm so confused. About what?"

"I'm sorry Bella. It's just, I care about you."

"Oh Embry, I care about you too. We're all family, we always will be."

He looked at her in a way she recognized. Although, it wasn't a way anyone other than Jacob had looked at her. It was with longing. She saw something in Embry's eyes that told her, he desired her in some way and she was paralyzed. She'd never noticed before, how could she miss something so obvious? Maybe he'd never been so close to her when they were all alone. Her thoughts fled to Jacob. Did he know too? What would he have done? No, she was misreading...Embry was confusing, he wasn't like the others. She couldn't be so presumptuous because he knew how disguise himself so well. He could disappear in a crowded room if he wanted to.

She inadvertently hid her lips with her hand. He was staring at them and she felt the need to cover them from him. "They're right. What you're thinking of...you're right as well, but I still didn't do it on purpose. I swear I only paused because I was overwhelmed. He gave me an order, I hesitated because we'd never been in that sort of situation. I failed him, but it wasn't on purpose. You have to believe me, he was my best friend. I would never want him out of the picture no matter how much I wanted you."

Bella should stop him right there because he didn't want her. Embry was grief stricken and hung over. Their emotions were all over the place, and she needed to bring him back down to earth. She took his hands in hers. "I think you should talk to someone. Perhaps, Seth or Quil. You're hurting and saying things you don't mean. We're all confused. None of this makes sense and it's too fresh."

She caught her breath and confessed she believed him about Jacob though. Of course, he'd never let anything happen to him on purpose. She had a mind to go next door and unleash her wrath on Paul and the others for laying that guilt on him. Seconds ticked by and she realized, she was in no state to do that. She felt all her emotions rise to the surface. It wasn't possible to sit there and console Embry. She was raw from her own grief and she had nothing to give back. The small speech was her last bit of strength. Bella lost herself in her agony as the emotions consumed her. She started sobbing uncontrollably. He didn't hesitate to wrap her up in his strong, warm arms. She couldn't escape the fact that type of embrace comforted her. She missed it every second of the day. She pulled him even closer and realized if she closed her eyes, there were parts that were so similar.

Neither of them tried to talk again, it wasn't necessary. She needed only the strength and comfort that his arms brought. After holding still for unrecorded minutes, he pulled back enough to see her. Embry's thumbs whisked away every tear that fell. "Please don't cry anymore. I'm sorry I came."

"No," she mournfully expressed herself, "I'm glad you're here. I needed to see you. Sometimes the crying helps." She needed to compose herself and pull back. They were sharing the same space. She could feel his breath on her face. However, she had no will to push back. His hands were replaced by his mouth and he kissed away the remaining tears across her cheeks. He shouldn't have done that and she should have stopped him faster, because her hesitation was misleading. Eventually, his mouth settled over hers and he pressed his full lips over hers. All her senses exploded, not with desire, but with fury.

"Stop!" she screamed.

She moved far away, pulled out of his reach and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She had not asked for that and she certainly hadn't reciprocated. Jacob had only been dead a month. She was a widow in mourning. Why had he violated her in such a way?

He looked bewildered, like he'd just woken up from a dream. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to. It's just..."

"Go...I need you to leave."

He didn't move.

She was firmer. "Now, Embry. Get the hell out."

The message was received that time and he mumbled a few more apologies and excuses, before he left with a slam of the door. Bella fled to bathroom. She stripped herself and climbed back in the shower with water that was almost scalding. She wailed and cried in the hot spray, scrubbing herself raw despite the fact she was clean from less than an hour before. Her kisses were reserved only for Jacob. He was her husband, the only one that could do that to her, but he was gone. "Jacob, why did you leave me?" was all she could manage before collapsing to the bottom of the tub. She stayed there until the water ran freezing cold.

Bella looked at her flush skin. Just the memory alone caused a reaction. If she wasn't careful, conjuring up the past was going to end up ruining the makeup she'd worked so hard on. She'd come along way from the young woman ripped apart, lying naked on the bathroom rug after that first kiss. The journey she made to get to where she ended up was long and tumultuous, but in all honesty, she was almost just as fragile for different reasons. Embry had the ability to break her still but not because of an unwelcomed kiss, because she wanted his kiss so much, she could hardly think of anything else.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3:Need

**_~I'm so excited by the responses I've gotten. It's great fun when an experiment seems to be working out. Remember: this isn't going to be an easy fix. I'll slowly peel back the layers to show why this complicated relationship exists._**

**_My banner by dontcallmeleelee is complete. Be sure and peek at my profile if you want to see the full image on my photobucket fanfiction album._**

Chapter 3: Need

_Longer flashback sequence_

Another six weeks passed. The time had not helped much other than remind her how truly lonely she was without Jacob. Of course, her father was there. She was with Billy as often as she could. They'd find solace in shared memories. He knew what it was like to lose a spouse, a true soulmate. Most of the pack checked on her constantly. She was back to work. Emily insisted she could have all the time she wanted, but she couldn't miss another month of work. She would certainly lose her mind if she didn't return.

The day her period arrived, Bella stayed home and sobbed the entire day. She knew the timing had been off that last week of their anniversary, but it had been a fleeting thought. She wished there had been one piece remaining, but it wasn't meant to be. She doubted it would ever happen for her. Thinking about making a family with any other man, was torturous and she had no desire for it. She read phrases like, "in time" and "eventually, you'll move on," but all those grief pages she visited on the web didn't know what it was like for them.

Occasionally, she thought of Embry and that one morning. She hadn't heard from him and she hadn't reached out to him either. It was for the best. He was going to have to sort out his problems on his own. She tried not to think about it until one night she grabbed her keys to head out the door and ran smack dab into him on her doorstep.

"Going someplace?"

"Um, yes...for a drive to clear my head."

"All alone at night? You sure that's wise?"

"I know how to drive, Embry, night or otherwise."

"But...why not take someone with you?"

"Cuz that would defeat the purpose of getting away."

"What are you running from?"

She scowled, that should've been obvious, but she admitted it was a night she knew both Paul and Jared were patrolling and it was a rare occurrence. She had a tiny window of opportunity to be to herself. She didn't need a babysitter.

"Can I help you?" she rudely asked.

She wasn't nearly as welcoming as the other time he showed up drunk.

He seemed stone cold sober that night, but still just as awkward and confusing.

"I just came to say goodbye and to apologize one last time. I was a dick and out of line. Bye." He turned around to leave.

"Wait...what do you mean, goodbye?"

"I'm leaving."

"Here, as in La Push? The Pack?"

"Yeah, the pack doesn't want or need me, so to hell with them. I'm getting started with living out my dreams. Sam released me, he's quitting soon too. Leah's splitting, little Seth is going to handle it all in the long run. It's a gene pool thing. They all know I'm out. Believe me, no one shed a tear about it."

"Won't you miss it? What about your mom?"

"No comment on either."

She wanted to know a little more, so she asked a few more questions. He finally suggested she take the night drive with him. "If you don't, I'll probably follow you. Old habits die hard, I'm use to protecting you for Jake."

She didn't want the shared drive to be for that reason only, but she quietly followed him to his car and climbed inside.

He drove her to the harbor district where he rented out a loft space. She loved his place. It suited him. He had one area as a studio and a small bedroom. Neither of them brought up that inappropriate kiss or the talk of unspoken feelings. She figured denial was easier than confrontation. On the way home, she realized she'd actually had fun.

Spending time with Embry became a comfort. Sometimes, they didn't even talk since they were both on the quiet side. He was sensitive and so artistic. She became very impressed with his eye for things that weren't so obvious. His portfolio was growing and the word was getting out. He had a waiting list of clients that wanted him to shoot them. Most were beautiful women, but she never asked too much about that.

* * *

Months and seasons passed. He visited her at the bakery occasionally. Somehow, he knew to come when Emily was out. She also stopped off at his loft every now and then. They weren't seeing each other or anything, they just saw each other. She had no idea what they were doing, but he made her feel better. Not much else in the world made her smile anymore. Bella never told any of the others about her visits with Embry. It was strange to hide it. That made it seem like they were up to something bad and they weren't...not at all. The relationship was only companionship that entire first year without Jacob.

Soon after the solemn anniversary of his death, she was surprised with a gift in a beautifully wrapped box covered in brown shipping paper. It was the dress. The black dress she admired one day while thumbing through his wardrobe for models. A short note was inside, _I like the way this looks on you. I never let anyone else wear it. _Weeks passed before he called again. He asked how she would feel about getting dressed up and coming over for dinner. He assured her, he wasn't attempting to cook. There was a great little bistro close to his place, that he was ordering from. She wondered why he didn't want to have dinner at the restaurant, but he only suggested staying in. She surmised, it was so it wouldn't be confused with a date, because he didn't want to date her and she wasn't ready to date. They'd never had dinner before, only talks, maybe a light snack or a cup of coffee. She was taken aback by the request. If dinner at his place wasn't a date, then what was it? It didn't feel like hanging out when she got all dressed up and obsessed about her appearance for a few hours before he was due to arrive. He came one evening, she slipped out unnoticed by her neighbors. Bella would never forget that night.

* * *

The glimpse of light pulled her from her flashback. Somethings were still the same. He parked in the same spot, flashed his headlights briefly and then sat there in the dark until she ran out to join him. He was there, same as that first non-date night. She would always tell herself, the next time would be different, but it never was. She ride off down the road in total darkness til Embry switched on the headlights and they'd go to his place. Sometimes, very rarely she accompanied him to a swanky nightclub they knew none of their friends would be caught dead in. They'd end up having spectacular sex, even though she always said going to see him wasn't about that. Afterwards, he'd hand her clothes over and take her home. She never stayed the night and she hated herself every time, but she never stopped. She repeated the same sequence over and over.

"You look amazing. Sorry, I'm late. I got an important call before I walked out the door."

She shrugged. He looked around. There was no sign of anyone else. "Hey," he wouldn't start up until she looked at him. "Do you not want to go or not?"

"What if I said no?"

"Then I'd say please, I've missed you."

She'd missed him so much. He hadn't called her in over six weeks.

"Just drive, Embry." He did, but he didn't stop trying to coax something out of her.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy with work. I went to New York for a location shoot. You know how it is?"

"Yeah, I hear there's no cell phone service in The Big Apple. I wonder how they all manage since it's one of the most populated cities in the world." She sent him a few text messages and her feelings were hurt when she never heard back.

"Fine, I get it...just say it. I'm an asshole."

"You're an asshole," she snapped without hesitation.

He laughed, but she didn't because it was the truth and he knew it.

He also knew there was no getting through to her when she was pissed. She was mostly pissed at herself for even being in his car on the way to his apartment. Bella made it worse by asking about her, "Seen Lauren lately?"

"Maybe. Do you really want to know?"

She didn't, but she did. He'd let her see his private portfolio on several occasions. There were countless beautiful faces and gorgeous bodies. She remembered the first time she saw some nudes. They were tastefully captured but it was still so intimate she couldn't stop from asking if he ever slept with any of them.

"I'm a professional, Bella. I can take a naked woman's picture and not fuck her."

"So, you don't sleep with any of the models?"

He looked away and didn't answer her. That was all she needed not to hear. He did. When she later came across Lauren Mallory's photograph, she finally lost her shit and sounded like a jealous girlfriend. "You take pictures of Lauren? Ugh, I can't believe she's in your collection. Don't you know how much I hate her?"

"No, I wasn't aware. Look...she heard about me and that I was local. So, yeah...she's not a bad model."

"Is she one of them?"

"One of them, what?"

"You know, you've been with her, haven't you?"

He gave her the silent treatment again. She was set to walk out on him that time and hitch a ride back home, but he stopped her. They had no real commitment or understanding. He could sleep with whoever he desired, but why Lauren of all the women in the world? He argued, sometimes things just happened because he was a guy. When beautiful women threw themselves at him, he had trouble saying no like any red-blooded male. She was so disgusted by the whole revelation and yet he still got her in his bed that evening. What was wrong with her? Obviously, a lot, but there was much more wrong with him. They both knew it. She refused to bring her up again, it had been many months but still seemed so fresh.

* * *

"Are you going to give me the cold shoulder the whole night? I'm sorry about New York, Lauren, whatever else you're mad about. Can we talk? I said I've missed you."

He went on to say, since he was so late, he assumed she had dinner already, but he had some wine and snacks ready. He really wanted to show her a new series he'd been working on, some of the New York stuff. They were getting close. She should keep quiet about the things that bothered her, but for some reason, she wished he felt as bad as she did. It was a gamble to bring it up again, but she was exhausted from the back and forth on top of her rampant memories. "So that guy came by again."

"What guy?"

"The one from the bank building across the street. He's nice."

"The one that keeps asking you out?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you tell him to back off, he's pretty much stalking you."

The mortgage broker, Bret was hardly a stalker. He was very friendly, and also had an addiction to her petite four's. He told her he had a wicked sweet tooth. It wasn't obvious by the looks of him. He was in great shape. The two of them got along well from the start. He did bring up a date on several occasions. She used her newly widowed status as her safety net. It worked, but she could tell he kept testing the waters, thinking as more time passed, she might reconsider.

Embry, of all people, caught him chatting her up one afternoon. Bella noticed he was less than pleased. She fantasized he was downright jealous, so she was scraping the bottom of the barrel of her tricks to bring him up.

"Don't tell me Brad asked you out to dinner after work again? That guy's pathetic."

"Bret."

"Same difference, you're never going out with him, why doesn't he give up?"

She politely folded her hands in her lap and didn't respond. She was more than use to his silent treatment. It was time for a taste of his own medicine.

"Bella, right? He's not your type. You told him no over and over."

She rested her head back on the seat and let her head fall to the side. Embry kept glimpsing her way. "I don't know, these past few weeks were strange for me, he did ask last week and I said I'd think about it."

She felt the car slightly accelerate underneath them. It wasn't a lie. She really said it after many _I'm sorries, but it's too soon. _It was merely a test, to see if she could muster up the nerve. Maybe was enormous in the grand scheme of things.

"I don't know what the big deal is. You said last time, you would never come out in the open. I'm your dirty little secret."

"When in the hell did I ever call you that? I said it wasn't fair to you, because of everything that's happened. You know how the pack is? You're like the kid sister and I'm the black sheep. Why can't we keep things the way they are?"

Bella went on to explain the very reasons going out with Bret wasn't such a bad idea. He was successful, kind, patient, good looking. The fact that he was so uniquely different from anyone on the reservation was refreshing. Maybe she needed a complete overhaul. She'd been thinking about getting her own apartment closer to the bakery and farther away from watchful eyes. Emily already told her she thought they would be a nice fit.

"What the fuck does Emily know? She's forced into love by wolfy magic. That guy's a tool."

"You don't even know him. If you can see airheads like Lauren, then why can't I see someone else? We aren't exclusive, are we?" She was practically screaming in her mind for him to just say the word that they were and she'd have him pull over. She wouldn't be able to wait until they made it back to his apartment.

"No, I never used that label and about Lauren..."

"What about her?"

"Nevermind...back to Brad."

"Bret."

"Whatever...he thinks he's hot shit making people dreams come true or crushing them with a stamp: **denied.** I know the type. He's on a power trip. He hides behind his expensive suit and fancy desk shuffling papers and sorting pens most of the day. He probably has a tiny dick he's trying to overcompensate for."

That made zero sense. She was feeling pretty damn smart for what she'd done by mentioning this other man. She truly did think he was nice, even though he probably wasn't her type just like Embry pointed out, but boy did it feel good to make him squirm. "I doubt he has problems with his manhood."

"Why? Something going on I don't know about?"

"Yes, he comes in most afternoons...I put up the closed sign and I let him fuck me on the counter where I ice the cupcakes. The whole time I scream about his giant cock."

She covered her face after saying such an embarrassing falsehood. He lost it for a second when she felt the car swerve. "I guess I deserve all this because I never replied to your texts."

She shrugged.

"I don't know what was wrong with me this last month."

"Six weeks," she corrected.

"Okay, six weeks...that makes it so much worse, doesn't it?" Her arms were folded tightly across her chest, but he pried them apart. He got hold of her left hand. She watched him pull it up to his mouth where he kissed it sweetly. "I'm sorry," he whispered once more. She was sorry as well but she didn't say much at first, before she finally got the courage to speak a little truth.

"Why are we doing this? You have glamorous women at your beck and call. For God's sake, you have a waiting list. You don't even need me. All we do half the time, is torture each other."

He still had her hand and she was astounded how just a stroke of his thumb on her skin made her insides turn to goo. "That's where you're wrong." He looked at her earnestly. The look had her hypnotized completely. The soft confession from his lips weakened all her defenses, "I need you more than you'll ever know."

_**~Thanks so much for reading.**_

_**Hit me up with your feelings. This one rips me apart a little. **_

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	4. Chapter 4:Images

_**~A/N Here's the deal, I have a lot of stories. This might not get updated frequently but I never abandoned my fics. I write daily and usually decide on what based on my mood. Sometimes, my mood shifts and I stop mid-sentence and move onto another story. I'm human, when interest is peaked for a particular fic, I'm liable to pay more attention to that one. I've challenged myself to update all my stories throughout the rest of the week. I'm interested to see which one gets the most feedback.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 4: Images

She stood at the bar while he grabbed a beer and poured some wine for her. He brought over a small tray with cheese, crackers and fruit. She didn't have an appetite but he always was a gracious host. He thought of everything and only got the best whenever she visited. She did want a glass of her favorite wine so she picked up a strawberry and chewed it between sips. She already felt a little shaky, maybe it was low blood sugar, but most likely it was him. She wasn't consuming too much wine. She'd already made the pledge to herself, only one glass.

He pulled his black leather jacket off and tossed it on his sofa. He took a long swig of his beer with one eye on her the entire time. Embry came closer, she leaned away until the side of the bar dug into her back. He touched her with the back of his knuckles. First on her arm, then across the exposed skin of her stomach. She tried to prevent her body from reacting. She failed miserably. He brushed his mouth over her bare shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't answer you or try to get in touch. I was just so busy. When we communicate, I want to see you. And I knew I couldn't." He rubbed up and down her sides. "This looks so good. I knew it would." His other hand came around and skimmed over her hip bone. She'd been pretending the entire way she was disinterested but it wasn't the case. She didn't believe in his excuses but as soon as he touched her, she hardly cared.

He leaned in ever so slowly expecting to get his first taste of her lips but she grabbed for the tray and pushed a plump red grape between his lips. "Grape?"

He faked choking, "Gee, thanks," he said between chewing. He was faster with his next attempt. He had both her hands pinned at her sides before wrapping her up in a tight embrace. That time he drug his nose down the side of her cheek and to her neck. He moved back and forth taking in her scent and causing her to whimper. She was done for. By the time he focused back on her lips, she was equally ready to receive and give back. He had the slightest remnant of beer on his lips but mostly he tasted like Embry, so uniquely his own...all male but perfectly sweet. Forget the alcohol they were consuming, she could get drunk off his kisses. He knew it was perfectly safe to release her wrists. She raked her hands over any part available. He coaxed her mouth open and took control of the kiss. His languid tongue movements caused a pool of desire in between her legs. "I missed you, being like this... all of it. Please forgive me? I need you, just like I said in the car." He twisted her around so he could press against her back and caress all over her body.

"God, I've missed you." It was supposed to only be a thought but she said it out loud.

He didn't need more encouragement, he was all over her after that. They remained standing at the bar making out, celebrating how well that part of their relationship worked. He picked her up after it got so heated, she knew clothes were about to start coming off. She always kicked her heels off at the door, so she gripped his hot torso with her bare feet. He walked to his room which was special in itself. He swore to her in the beginning he'd never had another woman in that room.

She knew he left out important things at times but she believed he was telling the truth. Part of the revelation made her feel special, maybe not as much as she wished though. Once she was on her back, he approach her like some sort of predator. She was happy to be his prey by then. His hand smoothly glided up her calf and beyond the boundary of her skirt. He was on a mission. His fingers expertly moved the lace he collided with away.

"Mmm, baby you want me."

"Yes," she moaned.

"Show me."

She hesitated. He pushed her skirt up further but then found the zipper and took it all the way off. He brought her hand back with his. "Show me how you touched yourself while you were missing me." She knew what he liked and she was more than willing to show him. She still was slightly embarrassed being put on the spot.

He further prodded her. "I'm right, it's me you think about." He pushed her fingers in between her slit with his. "Tell me."

"Yes, of course it's you, Emb."

"Good and not that Bret guy. Hmm..." He picked up the intensity.

"No, never Brad."

"You mean Bret, right ?"

Dammit...she didn't know what she meant, "Shut up about that, please. I need all of you."

He did exactly what she requested. He stopped talking and gave her more as he he sucked her nipple into his mouth and did all the work between her legs. He wasn't in a rush to give her what she truly craved. It had been too long and she was beyond needing foreplay, but he made her wait for it. He slowly removed the rest of her garments and undressed in front of her. A force compelled her to join him when stood up to slip off his dark jeans. She met him again upright on her knees in the middle of his bed. Skin on skin, he reached around her, grabbed her behind and pushed her even closer. The kisses were hot, frantic and messy. She licked over his lower lip, he plunged his tongue in her mouth and she sucked it while her hand pumped him.

He halted her movements and pushed her back down. That's when he proceeded to bathe her body in warm, wet kisses. He knew how to work her over. He wouldn't let up until she was begging for him to take his mouth off her most sensitive region. "You...now, please. I need to feel you inside of me."

By the time he pushed inside of her, she was already a quivering mess. Bella forgot all the problems that existed between them. It was always the one and only time he didn't seem to allow a shroud of regret and guilt surround him. He was just her lover and she was his. And what a lucky girl was she. He knew what to do with her each and every time. They were flawless in between the sheets. If only the rest could have been so good. She was by no means a nympho. She had only been with Jacob after a six month dating relationship. They were each other's first. They learned together and it was beautiful and perfect, covered in innocence and passion. The two of them had a natural hunger for each other from then on but when she lost him, she didn't even have as much as a torrid dream. Her mind and body ceased to go there.

The night of her first date with Embry...it was such a date, was the first time in ages her body reawakened. She knew when she walked in his apartment and he had champagne and candles along with gourmet food that there was more to his invitation than friendship. It still never crossed her mind she would have sex with someone else, much less Embry. However, his touch at the door when he helped her with her coat did something to her. It was like the fire that had burned out was lit again. He did that to her by barely grazing her skin. She turned around and went for it. She kissed him, figuring he'd never kiss her first after that disastrous morning when he had no business kissing her.

Bella was consumed with all the memories from that first time as she lay underneath his strong body. She was convinced it might very well be the last time if something didn't change. She'd made up her mind she couldn't keep up with what they were doing. It wasn't enough, she deserved better. Sure, a respectable woman would have sorted all that out before consenting to being fucked senseless but she was pretty much an addict and had to have that last fix in case it all went bad.

He pulled her ass upwards and changed the angle hitting exactly the right spot. She moaned loudly so he would know she was close again.

"That's my girl, come for me Bella." When she did, she also triggered his release and only then she realized something was different. She was so caught up in the heated moment, she hadn't realized for once he didn't wear a condom. They were safe because she had gone back on the pill after the first time she slept with him. Of course, she was convinced he wasn't spreading diseases either because of what she knew to be true about the wolves. He thought he had them all fooled but she knew better.

He fell back on the bed and she instantly felt the pang of regret for several reasons mostly because she already missed the closeness. She scurried into a position that was comforting across his chest.

"You didn't..."

"I know but you never miss your pills. It was so good." He kissed the side of her head. "You're so warm...so wet. You fit me like a glove." She didn't respond. "It's okay, isn't it? You're not mad, are you?"

She wasn't, she asked him several times to try without the condoms.

"What about?" Now he was overcome by silence. He actually pushed up and retreated to the kitchen, but he came back with a bottle of water.

Once she took a swallow he made a confession. "I would never put you at risks. I haven't been with anyone else in a long time." For some reason, that punched her in the gut. She swore she reacted in a way that was worse than him telling her he'd slept with someone else earlier that day. Why had he always been so vague and led her to believe he had other partners that whole time?

"What do you mean? How long is a long time?"

"Since the first night we were together." If she was more violent and he wasn't what he was, she would have started beating on his chest with her fists.

"Most men go to great lengths to hide affairs and yet you wanted me to believe you were bedding beautiful models along the way in between our meetings. I've said it before and I'll say it again, what the hell's wrong with you?"

"I never said I was, you just assumed."

"And you were happy to let me make those assumptions?" It made no sense other than he was trying to keep her from expecting too much.

"Lauren?" The hours she'd wasted thinking about that skank rubbing her body up against him. He was hers and she hated sharing him, but she actually wasn't.

"Once. When you and I were in our hangout period. Okay...sue me, I was frustrated as hell that year. Yes, I was screwing around too much and not being very selective but the night you stayed with me changed all that."

"That's where you're wrong, I never stayed. You always make me leave."

She did didn't care to listen to the excuse that was for her own good. He didn't want her to be subjected to a huge inquiry.

"In Seattle, you stayed." Of course, the Seattle trip. She made up a lie she was spending time with Angela but really he planned a weekend of culture, and romance. It was the only time she'd woken up with the morning light pouring in while she rested in his arms.

She practically ached for it on a regular basis.

"Embry, I can't keep doing this."

"What" Being with me? Please, you know how I feel."

"No, I don't. We never say it, so I'm not really with you, am I?"

He said he never thought they needed a bunch of bullshit labels and begged her to leave things the way they were. "I just admitted there's no one else. Too much has happened for us to rub it in the pack's faces. It will look really bad."

That was one of the things that never made sense. He boasted about leaving and being his own man but she knew he was lying about something very important. "You're a fucking liar. You still phase and for the life of me I don't know why you pretend you don't." He stammered with more excuses but she reminded him Emily was her best friend and business partner. "Sam gives me a hug every time I see him. He's cooler to the touch maybe not as cold as me but I could tell he quit only months later. Don't think I don't know what it's like. I was married to one of you."

"Fine...what difference does it make if I go wolf occasionally to blow off steam? I'm not hurting anyone."

"But why lie? Why be alone if you still want that part of yourself? They'd take you back."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then make me," she pleaded. "Let me in...goddammit, convince me not to leave tonight and never come back."

"You wouldn't dare. You need this, same as me." She did but her mind was made up.

"I'm tired of being used."

He got very upset, started shaking. He denied it and turned the tables on her. "You use me is more like it."

"What? No I don't."

"Don't think I haven't noticed how tight you close your eyes. You proved it talking about the temperature. You pretend I'm him. For once open your eyes and really see me."

He was right in the beginning, she couldn't help it but he was wrong that she held her eyes shut the whole time, every time. "Sure, that's me, I just need a warm body to pretend it's Jacob. I might as well use Quil, he's not getting any since Claire's a kid or what about Seth? He's of age now and single plus he's the alpha, same difference."

"Seth, what the fuck? He's a kid."

"Have you seen him lately? He's hardly a kid. You're cruel. I can't believe you said that me. I'm calling Paul to come get me."

"Paul, why him? He's so protective of you. I guess you'd enjoy seeing him kick my ass."

"Precisely..." she stood up, covered her nudity with a blanket and started rummaging through his drawers, trying to find what she wanted.

She heard a click. She was searching for the pictures and he had the nerve to take more.

"Stop that." She looked down and saw her tit exposed. She pulled the cover tighter.

"What are you looking for?'

"My photographs."

"Don't you mean my pictures? I took them. They're my property."

"Well I'm not coming back, I want them. I have no idea what possessed me to let you take them. I'm going to get rid of the evidence once and for all."

"Because it's fucking hot and you enjoy it."

She remembered the naive young woman sprawled out in his bed after they made love the first time. He was spooning her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She was imagining how he'd ask her to move in, when he wanted to tell everyone they were official and a bunch of other fluffy nonsense. He told her to be very still and before she realized his intentions, he was taking pictures of her nude back. She put up a fuss at first, she was so embarrassed, but he told her she was beautiful. He actually made her feel that way and she was easily coerced into many other provocative poses. Embry swore they were only for their private collection. He made them very tasteful when he messed with the edits. It wasn't like they made homemade pornos, but they were quite sensual, especially when he started the time lapse and they took them together.

Embry stopped her at the door of his walk-in closet. "I'll give you the damn pictures if you really want them. I have them backed up anyway."

"Of course, you do."

He held her face in his hand. "Don't say you aren't coming back."

She didn't want to say it or carry out the threat. She wanted him to do the right thing. He wiped a stray tear off her cheek. Were they doomed from the beginning? He kept protecting her from what the others might say, but in doing so, he hurt her in the worst way. "Why can't we..."

"Don't think about what we aren't, just live in this moment and enjoy what we are."

He kissed her and she kissed him back. The blanket fell to the floor and he took her back to his warm bed. She went to that place that only he could take her and they just were. Her conscious mind ignored the bullshit labels like he said. He loved her body, mind and soul without ever uttering the words. She playfully pinched his side when she heard the shutter. Somehow, he'd started the time lapse again. Those images were going to be something else. Too bad she'd never see them, because she meant it. Bella might have been experiencing one of her best, pleasured nights ever, but if he wasn't willing to change, she wasn't going back.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	5. Chapter 5:Truths Unraveled

_**~Thanks for the kind reviews and your patience. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 5: Truths Unraveled

Bella stumbled into the bakery almost a half hour late Monday morning. Emily knew she was running behind schedule, said it wasn't a big deal. Bella covered for her plenty, since she had a couple of kids who would get sick from time to time. She bounced herself across the room and met her at the door.

"What?"

Emily was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "You just missed him."

"Who?"

"Hot guy in a suit."

"Oh really, Bret already stopped by?" .

She informed her that 'maybe' had sent him over the edge. "What are you waiting for? I'll watch the place and you can go to his office."

Bella thought she was nuts. She wasn't about to go to Bret's place of work.

"So what's up with you? Why were you late? You're never late." Bella hadn't slept a wink Saturday because of her extended session with Embry. She was so hopeful after that second round, maybe he'd have her stay over but he woke her up from her post-coital dozing and took her home, same as always. She cleaned and cried and moped around the next day. She got terrible sleep until about four am so she texted Emily when her alarm went off. She skipped all the real details and said she hadn't felt great, a little rundown and tired was all.

Emily started back on the subject of Bret.

"Bella, you know good and well that Jacob wouldn't expect you to be alone forever. Think...if things were reversed, what would you have wanted for him?"

"Of course, I would want him to find love again. He wanted a family. I would want him to have all life's experiences."

"Precisely."

"I don't know, Emily...there's more to it than that."

"How so?"

Customers came in and rescued her from further uncomfortable conversations. Sure enough, lunch time rolled around and Bret was back. He used the excuse of wanting to buy lunch. She knew better. He wanted his answer.

Bella watched from the kitchen as Emily took his order. She covered for her so she could get her nerve up. He kept craning his neck trying to see in the back. Bret was handsome, there was no doubt about it. He seemed pretty successful and he was a gentleman. He came from a close-knit family. He'd mentioned them a few times. Why shouldn't she go out with him? It would probably lead nowhere but she had nothing to lose. She told herself she wasn't using him. He was interesting and she wanted to get to know him better. Embry needed to see she wasn't bluffing. Okay, maybe she was using Bret a smidgen if she made sure Emb knew she going on a date with him but she finally came out of hiding.

"Hey Bret what's up?"

"Oh hey, B...nothing much just grabbing a croissant sandwich. You know those are my weakness."

"Please, everything in here's your weakness. You really need to do something about your carb addiction. Help's out there, I'm sure. Carboholics anonymous."

"Yeah, maybe if I cut back I wouldn't have to spend so much time in the gym every week but I'm addicted to both. That's where I decompress." They laughed back and forth at their lame jokes. No wonder he kept asking her to go out. She flirted with him, it was fun and she'd being doing it for awhile.

"Can I be frank?"

"Yes, aren't you always?"

"I brought my lunch today, its back at the office. I needed to see you. Come on...please, Bella. I'm dying over here. Do you want have dinner Saturday?"

"Yes, I think that sounds lovely." His face lit up.

Emily nudged her. She came from behind the counter and tugged his arm, so he'd follow her outside. They went over all the tentative plans.

She offered to drive to the bakery and meet him but he wouldn't hear of it. He said he would pick her up at her place at 6:30. He asked casual or fancy? She was worried he'd want to go to the gourmet bistro close to Embry's, so she said casual. She really did it, she accepted a date with Bret.

* * *

Bella had only one place in the world she needed to be after committing to a date with Bret. She tended to the area making sure there were no weeds. She arranged her flowers across the top. Bella talked about her dilemma. She didn't speak it but she ran everything through her mind. That's how she usually communicated with Jacob. It made her feel better even though she had no idea if he could hear her. When she got ready to leave, she saw Paul pushing Billy towards them.

"Sorry dear, do you want some alone time to yourself?"

"No certainly not, stay with me." She shot Paul a dirty look. No doubt, he ratted her out because he'd seen her earlier walking over. He tried to get her into his truck but she wanted to walk. Paul said he'd wait for them. Billy admired the flowers she brought. "Paul said you were upset. Something happen? Or is it one of those times the memories won't let go?"

"Both and Paul's a stalker."

"He's just worried. We all worry. Wanna talk about it?"

She decided to spend the evening with him so they might discuss a few things. Bella could trust Billy. She wasn't sure how the guys would react but he always had sound advice and was open minded. Rachel had grocery shopped for him the day before so she checked out the pantry and figured out something to cook.

He thanked her for always looking out for him and she did the same. He asked her to please leave the kitchen, since he had someone coming over later to help out. She knew the pack took turns caring for Billy along with her father and Sue. Rachel wanted him to live with them but he wouldn't give in. Jacob always said it was because he didn't want to live in the same house as Paul.

She had a seat near him, he turned off the television.

"What would you say if I was going on a date?"

Billy let out a long exaggerated sigh. "Finally."

She wasn't expecting that response. Had her father in law been expecting her to date? "I can tell by the way you're looking at me, you don't know that I know."

"Know...know what, Billy? I have a customer that's really nice and he would like me to have dinner with him Saturday. Did Emily say something?"

He frowned and like a stop motion sequence in her mind, she began to understand. He knew about her and Embry.

"I'm sorry. You must think I'm terrible, it was only this year, it just happened."

"I know, honey. You don't have to apologize, you can't help who you love."

"How? Who told you?"

"My son."

"What, you mean Jacob knew Embry had feelings for me?" But that wasn't right, he knew what was going on in the here and now. She was confused by his statement.

"Bella, you need to listen. I'm not proud of every decision I ever made but I have a confession. Embry is also my son."

Bella felt like an elephant collapsed on her chest, she couldn't breathe, she felt light headed like she might even pass out. What had just come out of Billy's mouth?

"I...I," she stuttered.

He told her to take deep breaths and hear him out. He told her a long story starting over twenty years before. Sarah had the twins, life wasn't always easy, they were struggling. He'd been lonely and distant because he felt inadequate as a provider. They were arguing frequently. One night he went off feeling sorry for himself, and ran into Tiffany Call. She always flirted heavily with him. "Sarah didn't care for her. I was stupid and I drank with her, told her how my wife was ignoring me. I'm sure you can figure out the rest. I felt terrible the following day, called up Tiffany. I told her to stay away from me, that it meant nothing. The hardest thing I had to do was face my wife and tell her what I'd done. She was devastated and she had her own confession. She was pregnant with Jacob but she'd been hiding it because she was worried it'd create more stress." He said he was the worst husband in the world. He'd gone out and cheated on his pregnant wife when he loved her with all his heart.

"It was a long hard road to forgiveness but before Jacob was born, we were in a good place. Sarah caught sight of Tiffany at one of her last doctor's appointments. She was heavily pregnant as well and Sarah was a lot like Rachel, she spoke her mind. She needed to know but Tiffany denied it completely. I visited her with Sarah the following week. Sure enough, a man was living with her, claimed the child was his. I heard he dumped her at the last moment before Embry was born. I thought what a lowlife leaving his kid and not providing. I never pursued it further. Maybe I took the easy way out, making assumptions. People then, couldn't easily access paternity tests. I avoided the possibilities. Of course, when he and Jake were buddies, I pondered here and there but when the boy phased ahead of Jake, I knew. You had delayed the phase in Jake, he was too happy. Embry had a shitty life, it was easier for him to succumb to the change. I visited Tiffany with Old Quil and Harry. We were on a fishing expedition. I wasn't allowed to tell, but she asked me for help, said something was wrong her son and that he needed a good role model. I flat out asked, 'he's mine isn't he?'"

Tiffany ended up telling Billy all the reasons she lied. She knew full well what she was doing trying to seduce the chief. But later, she had regrets when she saw the couple out at the beach with the twins. Sarah was pregnant and they were a happy family. She didn't want to do anymore damage. Billy said he continued to keep it to himself until Jacob shifted as well. He finally came to the conclusion, his sons deserved to know that they were more than best friends. Bella was in tears for the majority of his story.

He went on to to say, that wasn't the only challenge facing the boys. He didn't know Embry had been harboring secret feelings for her. It all came crashing down on them at once. Jacob had to reconcile his previous opinions of his father as a perfect man and leader and accept he was also a cheat and a liar. Embry had to come to terms that his father had been under his nose his entire life. Jacob had recently caught him having thoughts about Bella when Embry's guard was down. The two of them had a vicious fight. Bella asked when it was. He said he believed it was maybe six months after she and Jacob got together officially. She knew that coincided with them taking their relationship to the next level, but kept that to herself. She actually remembered seeing some scratches on him and assumed he'd been battling with Paul which was common, she never questioned it.

She tried to process all the information piece by piece but she had to know. "Why all the secrets? Jacob and I told each other everything or so I thought."

He said as far as his part, they both decided they didn't want any shame to come to him, so they kept being brothers strictly to themselves. "Embry swore whatever his feelings regarding you were one sided. You only saw him as a nice friend. He'd do his best to get over it. He apologized profusely and Jacob didn't want you worrying. He knew you'd worry about both of them and feel responsible for the wedge between them. Embry assured him it was temporary. Embry dated other women, tried to act nonchalant about you, but Jacob always sensed he wasn't exactly getting over it like he promised. Soon the pack caught bits and pieces. The loud mouth, Lahote said it 'wasn't cool, he needed to snap out of it.' One thing, you need to understand, is those boys loved each other through it all. Their bond was strong and what happened to Jacob was not his brother's fault." She'd told him that so many times as well.

Bella and Billy essentially lost all track of time. She looked at her phone as the battery threatened to die any second. It was after midnight. She had to be at work early the next morning and he never stayed up so late.

He hoped she wasn't feeling worse because of his honest revelations but she was. No wonder, Embry's guilt was never-ending. He wasn't going to let it go. That meant several things to her, he was in pain...tremendous pain and she could never be with him. Bella truly believed she could get past the secrets and such, but not Embry...he was tearing himself apart.

Billy told her if going out with a new friend was what she needed, then do it but he wished his son would come around. "He's about to make the worst mistake of his life, if he lets you slip away."

She wondered about one other thing. "Embry should be the alpha now. Is that why his wolf won't let go?"

"I suspect so. It's fighting him but he won't give in."

"Billy, I just thought of something. Is it something else with the wolf? Embry didn't imprint on me, did he?"

He said in all honesty sometimes it seemed that way but he promised him and Jake both that wasn't the case. "Jacob said he believed him." She always thought if she was meant to be an imprint, it would be with Jacob. Who knew, maybe something was wrong with her and that's why it never happened.

"I don't know what to do."

"You'll figure it out, I believe in you, honey. Perhaps love will eventually win out and you can find the happiness you deserve. Jake would want that."

"But...maybe that's not right. I don't think he loves me. Embry never tells me he does."

"Bella, you and I both know that boy loves you so much he can't see straight and you love him back. It's downright foolish that you don't tell each another."

"I do...I love him so much...but it's not enough."

The door creaked behind her and there he was, standing in the room with them. Bella wiped her eyes and tried to pretend but the look on his face confirmed it...he heard what she said. The two of them stared at each other in silence. So much was out in the open, but she didn't know what to say. Embry was Jacob's brother, they'd kept secrets from her, she loved him, maybe he loved her too, but for some reason, she'd felt the gap between them widen even further.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**Sighs...this one hurts me.**_


	6. Chapter 6:A Beautiful Goodbye

~_**Song inspiration for me was Maroon V's "Beautiful Goodbye." Take a listen, it's perfect for these two. High hankie warning for the chapter, you have been warned.**_

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer._**

Chapter 6: A Beautiful Goodbye

They stared aimlessly for a few moments. Billy broke it up by asking Embry to give Bella a ride home.

"No, Paul left his truck for me."

"But it's late," Embry finally spoke.

"And I live barely two miles away. I'm fine." Bella hugged her father-in-law and told him thanks for everything. She grabbed her bag and headed out. He met her on the steps. "Go back in, I left a mess in the kitchen. Billy needs to get to bed."

He grabbed her arm. "Wait, we should talk." Really? He actually wanted to talk, that was different. She told him she was beat and had work early in the morning.

"Goodbye Emb."

Bella drove home, got a shower since she was still grubby from the bakery. Some days she swore she excreted sugar from her pores even if she never ate anything she was making. She was heading to her room when the softest scratching was heard from the front door. She opened it up without thinking. Nothing dangerous would ever dare come to her door.

It was him and he entered the room quickly. She tried to hide how happy it made her. She told him to leave her earlier, but she actually wanted to talk to him about all she'd learned.

"What about Billy?"

"He's fine, the kitchen's squeaky clean. I'm efficient, you know that. So...now you know?"

"I understand so much better now, but it doesn't change anything."

"How can you say that? Don't you get it? My brother, Bella. He was my brother and he knew I was hung up on his wife, but still put up with me. Now he's dead, partly because of me. How's it fair that I take his place and have his wife? It's a total mindfuck. I can't do it."

"But we're...we're together...you know, sexually. How's that okay and the rest isn't? It makes me feel like a cheap whore."

Embry walked over and plopped down on her sofa in a frustrated heap. He held his head in his hands. "You know that's not how I view you."

"How do you view me then?"

"Come on, Bella."

"No, it's now or never. I need complete honesty from you tonight."

"Don't you have to get to bed?"

"It won't be the first time I went in after a sleepless night." She sat close to him, just enough that she felt his leg against hers. She was ready to issue somewhat of an ultimatum, "You need to be aware, I'm going out with Bret Saturday and I'm not doing it because of you, but if you give me a reason to change my mind, I will. I'm actually doing it for myself because he's nice and I like him."

Instead of telling her what he thought about her little confession, he started with his own. It was the first time he tried to take her back in time, to that night. Bella never thought she wanted to know the details, but if we was willing to share, then she needed to know. As painful as it was to hear about his final moments, she needed to listen for Embry. It was high time he got it all off his chest. Bella listened how he and Quil were on patrol and caught the first scent. They howled for backup at the discovery of the second one. "Those were fairly easy to catch up with and the whole pack converged on them."

"We were confident they didn't have a chance. Then the other two showed up and they were fast, as well as having the element of surprise. Jared was the first to get to get smacked around. Jake told us to scatter, and regroup. The next moments were all a blur. but I came back around. I was going after the female. Jake said in my mind, 'fall back and wait' but I thought I had it. She turned on me, pinned me down. I could feel her power and thought I might snap in certain places any second. He was going after the aggressive leech, the biggest one. It was the one that had been out for us in the beginning, but Jacob let him go to come back and help me. Do you want me to stop? This is too much."

She realized she was crying.

"Bella, you don't need to hear any other details. I think you get it."

"I think you have to tell me, so yes, please continue."

"He was distracted, getting the female vamp off me. The other one came back, the one he'd been chasing, the one that he was going to take down before I got into trouble. It all happened so fast. That fucker smacked into Jake so hard. I heard the bones break, but it was Jacob. He was stronger than any of us. I thought he had it under control. The others were all around by then, so we got busy making those bastards suffer. When we diffused the situation, I sought him out with my mind. He didn't respond. I found him collapsed, human again under some brush. I thought the ribs would heal, we all did. Sue was certain one must of punctured an artery, probably his aorta. I offered my blood, but she said it was too late. He took his last breath in front of me. I killed him. I knew it, they all knew it. They saw what happened in my mind."

Bella never knew all the details, she just knew she lost him. But after hearing how it happened, she still knew Embry didn't kill him. "It was a horrible circumstance but that vampire did it, not you. That's what Jacob did, he took care of all of you. He would have turned around for any of the others and you know it."

He looked at her and she knew he was about to cry with her. Bella grabbed onto him. She whispered over and over, "I don't blame you."

She told him he helped heal her broken heart, let her do the same for him. They could get better together, better than they ever would all alone. She needed him, only wanted to be with him.

He had one more confession, "I used to have all sorts of weird fantasies, ones where there was no Jacob or you didn't like him that way. I would imagine you were only friends, and maybe gave me a shot. What if?"

"What if what, Emb? You never wished him dead. Billy said you two were in a good place. Look at me." She held his face in her hands. "If you had one choice, which would it be...me all to yourself or Jacob back?"

"God, how can you ask me that? I'd give anything for him to be alive."

"There...that's why I know. It was a tragedy, nothing more. Let your guilt go. I...I know you heard what I said to Billy. It's true. I…"

He put his finger over her lips, "You have no idea how much it hurt me to hear your doubts. I'm so fucking sorry you feel that way." His hand caressed all over her face and down her neck. She melted into his touch. "I love you too...so much...even when I wasn't supposed to, I loved you. I was a dumbass for thinking it would hurt you more to know the truth."

"I love you," she whispered against his lips.

Bella couldn't focus on anything else but how much she wished to be closer to him. She needed to be with him, against him, covered in him. She climbed over his lap and took her sleep top off all at once. Her hands grabbed his shirt. They melded together. His fingers traced each vertebra while she drug her lips over his. Somewhere, in the back her mind, she knew what it might be, but she shoved that truth back down. He loved her, he admitted it. Technically, she knew but him speaking it to her over and over while he made love to her was a whole other feeling. The truth was...she wasn't sure she would ever experience it. It was better than her dreams. When he brought her to her first peak, they stilled, just so they could stare deeply into each other's eyes. "I see all of you and I love you," she promised.

He kissed her lips slow and soft, then deep and demanding. Embry lifted her body and laid her back down on the cramped sofa. It was small, but it was the right place for them. She couldn't have gone back in her room with him. Even though, it had been a few years, their wounds were still fresh, especially after the night they experienced.

He didn't hesitate before he thrust himself deep within her a second time. She pulled her legs up high and squeezed his sexy body. He took her to all the places she wanted to go. Some minutes were so slow and pure, she felt like crying. Much of it so was hot and passionate, he let her bite and suck his fingers so her pleasured moans wouldn't wake the neighbors which would probably never understand what was taking place between them. Bella had no idea how she'd erase the scents of sweat and sex from her living room, but it didn't matter. They loved each other, they needed one another and he was giving her all of him finally, even if it was the only time.

When he told her he needed her to come once more, she knew he was close. He wanted them to come together and she wouldn't have any trouble fulfilling his wish. Her fingers against his hips guided him until he gave her the perfect strokes. The familiar feeling bubbled up inside, she squeezed her internal muscles and let the release move through her. Embry filled her with a flood of warmth. She knew their precious time together, cramped on the sofa transcended all other couplings they had enjoyed since the beginning.

Glazed over, her head still spinning from the intensity of their passion, she tried to speak, but he stopped her. Instead, he pulled her back against him and he held her in place. He soothed her, nuzzled into her neck and told her again how much he loved her. Bella wanted their night to be a new beginning more than anything. It was the thought that gave her the piece of mind to slip out of consciousness and fall asleep with his body curled around hers.

* * *

Groggy and disoriented, she later realized she was being carried. He kissed her forehead when he got her settled in her bed. "I love you, Bella. I don't think I'll ever stop."

That was enough to wake her. She sat up on the bed.

"Wait, stay...for once...please, stay with me. I don't care if they all know. It's our life. No one else matters."

His thumb wiped over her bottom lip. He said he loved her again and she repeated it back to him, but then he split her in half once and for all when he finished what he was trying to say. "Now, it's time I prove it and let you have the life you deserve...not only a partial one and we both know that's all I'm capable of."

And then he was gone, Embry left and she knew, he was never coming back.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**Oh my...sobbing. I told you from the beginning, this one hurts. Please let me know if you see any hope for these two.**_


	7. Chapter 7: New Beginnings, Old Memories

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 7: New beginnings, Old Memories

Emily gave her the strangest look when she entered the bakery the following morning.

Bella looked down at her top, "What, did I spill something on myself?"

"I wasn't expecting you after the morning you had."

"That son of a bitch. I swear he should start up his very own gossip column. I told him to keep quiet. It wasn't any of his business." Of course, Bella was referring to Paul checking in on her in the predawn hours. He walked in while she was starting coffee. She hadn't had a chance to air out the place or Febreeze the furniture. He went completely berserk, called Rachel over and disclosed what had occurred according to his nose.

Rachel was horrified. "How could you...with him, of all people and in my brother's house?"

Bella told them both to leave, but they intended to a have a long talk with her that evening. She was considering spending the night at Charlie's. She did manage to tell Rachel, perhaps a long talk with her father was what she really needed before she lectured Bella again. She couldn't understand why Rachel was left in the dark. The animosity and secrets had allowed her to develop an unfair hatred for the only brother she had left. Billy and Embry needed to tell her and Rebecca the truth.

Emily pulled her into the office away from curious employees. "I thought I was your best friend?"

"You are, Emily. You know that."

"Do I? Because if I ever had sex with someone else, you'd be the first to know. I'm not and never would, so scratch that example, but damn...Embry. I can't believe it. Sam told me a long time ago he had a crush on you, but that was it."

Bella told her a little bit of the history, leaving out the brother part because really that was only Billy and Embry's secret to tell. She tried to distract her with work, but Emily said they had at least thirty minutes before customers arrived and they had enough hired help, they could stay in the office and talk.

"This doesn't sound like a fling."

"It wasn't. Do I seem like the fling type?"

"I pushed you to go out with Bret."

"I like Bret, he's nice."

"But you love Embry. I feel like such a fool and a rotten friend. It's written all over your face. I have no idea how I missed it."

Bella assured her she was a great friend and it was true, she didn't know how to stop loving Embry, but it wasn't enough. He thought she needed something different. Continuing a relationship with him wasn't possible.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure that I love him with all my heart and that he loves me, but he still walked away. That's all I'm sure about."

They got to work and Emily didn't press her too much more, but she told Bella to expect some repercussions. Paul did have a big mouth, so they all knew. However, they all genuinely worried about her, it wasn't purely gossip. None of that mattered to her. She'd made up her mind, she was moving. She found a place she really wanted to see. Charlie was accompanying her the next afternoon, because it was a private sublet and he didn't feel comfortable with her going alone. The pack was always going to be her second family, but she was tired of them treating her like a child. She needed her independence.

* * *

She got her dad's seal of approval on the apartment. He checked the crime statistics and was satisfied it was a safe neighborhood. The landlord was a middle-aged man with a family. His cousin was studying abroad and leasing it out for six months, maybe longer. Bella thought the six month lease was a good starting point and it was walking distance to the bakery. Charlie hinted around he knew something had gone on, but was trying to give her a chance to come clean. She finally did over dinner. He was understanding as usual, but was a little worried about the date she accepted so suddenly.

"Bells, don't rush. You seem like you're coming out a very emotional relationship. I hate that you felt like you needed to conceal it. We love you. I wouldn't have judged you. I have half the mind to pay that man a visit. You deserved so much better, especially after what you went through."

"There's no reason to see Embry on my behalf. I was a willing party. I made just as many bad decisions that hurt me, but I think this new friend might be exactly what I need right now."

"Why don't I run a background check?"

She gagged on her water, "Please don't, that's embarrassing and totally unnecessary."

"He'll never know. Humor me and give me the okay because you know I'm going to do it regardless." Bella wrote his full name down on a napkin. She fully expected Bret to come out squeaky clean.

Before they left the parking lot, he pulled a folded envelope of his pocket. He said he debated it for many weeks. He rented out the old house in town, but sometimes letters came and the couple that lived there would drop things off at the station, occasionally.

"Bells, it doesn't say so. Look, it's only your name and address in fancy lettering. There wasn't even a postmark. I think it's from the Cullens. I debated whether I should throw it away, but I decided to give you the chance to decide." She couldn't believe after all the time that had passed, the Cullens would have the nerve to make contact, but her curiosity got the best of her and she took the letter. She opened it and Charlie's instincts were spot on. Bella held her breath, but relaxed slightly when she realized it was from Alice not Edward.

"It's just Alice."

He asked if it was okay for him to start back and she nodded her head up and down. Her voice was stuck in her throat. She sat in the passenger seat and scanned the words. Alice rambled quite a bit. She told her about their travels, and mentioned several places they'd lived and visited. She even bored her with some fashion discussions. She didn't name them one by one, just that everyone was fine. She eventually made an apology, but said Edward convinced them there was no other way. She wasn't safe with their family. Alice couldn't help herself, she checked on her when she could. He told her not to. Most of time there was nothing. Carlisle elaborated on the new pack. He had checked back in the area several times. They'd all come to the conclusion, the wolves inhibited her visions.

_Occasionally, I saw. You're beautiful, you've grown into a lovely young woman. I've seen many things: happiness, laughter, extreme sorrow, ups and downs, fear, anger, and joy. I believed it was all part of__ a normal human __life. You were living, and that's what we hope__d__ for. However, the last time I checked, the scenery had changed dramatically. Bella, I saw you in a lovely home. It was the longest vision I'd witnessed in years. The others were all so brief. You were surrounded by beautiful things. I didn't see them__,__ but there were children nearby. Colorful artwork was on the walls and various toys littered the table. A bat and ball were propped up in a corner. All those things looked exactly the way I imagine__d__ a __typical __family's home would, but you...you were just there. You were existing, but long gone were all the emotions, I'd seen before. I __eventually __lost __the vision__. I don't know what it means, but I had to write. If you are at a crossroads in life, please be careful. I didn't like seeing __you __that way. It was more encouraging to not see you, like most times. It was one of the rare times, I wished I could cry real tears, because I don't want you to ever feel like that. Don't worry, I'm doing my best, I won't show Edward. You know I'm not always right. You're still in control of your own destiny. Please take care and know that I will always care about you...we all will._

_Your friend always, __Alice_

"Is everything alright, kiddo?" Bella wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "She upset you. I should've tossed it. I'm sorry."

"No, it's no biggie. It's just Alice, she'll never change. None of them will. She said she only wanted to check-in, no idea why she waited so long to do so. But if any other letters, come...please, toss them. There's nothing left for us to say to each other."

"Will do."

"Thanks, Dad."

She wasn't going to dwell on Alice's strange vision. It had no bearing on her new decisions. Those were pretty much made for her and she was determined to make the best of it, no matter what.

* * *

Bella was finally satisfied she looked as good as she could. She tried on about ten different outfits, put her hair up then back down. He saw it up all the time, so she thought she'd be different. Bret had texted when he was on the way. She was expecting him any second.

Of course, she hadn't heard from _him._ He left her after the first completely honest time they'd ever shared. Her heart broke in a million pieces, but by the next morning she gave herself a pep talk in the shower even though Paul and Rachel had read her the riot act. She felt defeated briefly, like giving up but that would dishonor Jacob's memory and she refused to give up. She had to make her own choices and not be influenced by anyone else. She needed to look ahead to the future once and for all. No more living in the past or dwelling on what ifs.

She heard a car, but decided to stay put and let him come to door. She didn't want to seem too eager. It was more like,_ let's get this over with,_ so he finally realizes she wasn't that great.

He knocked in a perfect rhythm, not too hard, not too soft.

She was greeted by a large bouquet of flowers, probably the biggest she'd ever seen.

He pushed them towards her. "For you. Hope you're not allergic."

"No, not at all. These are great. Hold on, while I put them in some water."

Bret looked more casual than she was used to since, he was normally in a suit for work. She really did think that he was handsome, and his blue eyes actually twinkled in the light. He stepped inside the living room, while she looked in the back of the cabinet for a vase. She couldn't remember the last time fresh flowers were in the house. Briefly, a memory flashed. It was their anniversary, right before he was taken from her. She wasn't going to do it. Anything could remind her of Jacob if she let it. She came back from the kitchen to find him holding a framed photo.

"I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind."

"No it's okay. It was our engagement picture."

"Nice couple. You don't ever have to hide what you felt about him. I get it. He was your husband. That'll always be a part of you."

She thanked him. Bret seemed almost too good to be true. She didn't know why she always felt at ease with him. She rarely spent any time around anyone outside the pack. He seemed like the real deal. He never acted like he was pretending.

They walked outside and she closed her eyes once, then twice to see if they were playing tricks on her. The front end of Embry's car was peeking behind a tree on her road. He showed up at the exact time of her date. What did it mean? She tried not to react as Bret escorted her to his car. What if Embry stepped out? She didn't want to hurt or embarrass her date, but she was almost certain she'd break up on the spot if he came back for her. Bella wasn't even sure that it was necessary to break up, it was only their first date. It was better to do it before, rather than after the date. He probably already had the wrong idea just because she finally said yes.

She urged him in her mind please..._please get out of the car,_ but it wasn't meant to be. The car backed up and turned around and went in the other direction, most likely towards his father's house. He left...he came, but he left her again. She promised it was the last time. Bella leaned back against Bret's seat and buckled up. He asked if she was reading.

"Yes, I'm ready." _What are you ready for?_ She asked herself. Bella glanced again at Bret. He smiled and so did she.

Once they started driving, she relaxed and stopped second guessing herself. Bella stared out the window as a familiar voice spoke through her memory, reminding her once again, "Get busy living or get busy dying."

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**In all honestly, it was my original plan that this was a one shot and would end right there. I hope some of you are happy, I changed my mind and added to my idea. I have a plan. It's not a quick fix by any means, but if you're still interested, I'm continuing the story.**_


	8. Chapter 8:Existence

_**~A/N Ready to be surprised? Sorry, but my surprises aren't always nice. Happy or sad reading, please continue...**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 8: Existence

_5 years later_

_._

_._

Bella shut the dishwasher and turned around to be startled by her father.

"Jesus, Dad...don't sneak up on me like that."

"How many times have I told you not to leave the door unlocked, especially at night?"

"Sorry, I thought Bret locked it, guess he forgot."

"Yeah, seems he forgets lots lately."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, I don't know...maybe because it seems he forgets he has a wife and children, that he's unemployed, that he's put his family in a terrible bind and yet he's out late when he should be home with you preparing for job interviews. You know? Forgets."

"Are you done?"

"No, I'm only getting warmed up, but you look like hell so I'll ease off. You know where I stand."

Bella knew she looked awful, maybe ten years older than her actual age. Hopefully, it was only temporary. She hadn't been sleeping well for almost a year. Charlie looked around the house. He didn't ask where Bret was, only if he could look in on his grandchildren.

"Go ahead, but be quiet, they just went down. Anison's been a bear this week. I think she's finally feeling better. Charlie tiptoed up the stairs to see them. Being a grandfather was truly a calling for him, he was the best.

Of course, things had been strained the past year not because of her relationship with her father. He was her rock, but as soon as he let Bret have it when he realized what he'd been hiding, things became weird between them. Her father preferred to only come around when her husband was out. He was actually gone more often than she wanted, but at least he was trying a little more lately. He promised her.

In the beginning, all had been different. Bret was that perfect guy just like she'd imagined. It all started on the first date. He shared things about his family, his work and a past relationship. He really opened up to her. She was shocked to find out Bret had been engaged, but left by his fiance only a few weeks before his wedding day without a warning. He told her the following month, he walked into their bakery and she caught his eye. He wasn't planning on asking her out right away, because he was still healing from his own heartbreak. When he realized what she'd been through, he couldn't help thinking their meeting wasn't accidental. Maybe, the universe put them each other's paths, so they might help each other.

In unlikely Bella fashion, she didn't conceal her life from him. At first, she never planned on bringing up Embry, but something about Bret's confessions, caused her a change of heart. He was completely honest with her. That was rare. What if something more went on between them? She didn't want to start a relationship out with a lie or a bunch of half truths. That's how Bella revealed she wasn't just a grieving widow, and one of the real reasons, she'd always turned down his invitations for dinner was because of Embry.

She only left out the supernatural secrets, but she even told him about her unhealthy relationship with Edward. She held her breath as she waited for his reaction. He was likely to hightail it and run the other direction, but that didn't happen. He put his arm around her, wiped a couple of tears from her face, kissed her cheek and asked if she liked sushi for their second date? The rest was pretty much history.

* * *

Charlie's descent down the wooden staircase pulled her from her memories.

"Still sleeping soundly, I hope."

"Yep, like angels. What'd the doctor say about Annie?"

She'd been sick and crying for days, and Bella found out she had another ear infection. "Her doctor thinks she needs tubes."

"When?"

Bella had been trying to go over the budget all evening. She and Emily had a health plan, at least. Bret lost the good one when he got fired, but she hadn't met the deductible. Her father didn't hesitate, "Tell me what they need up front and Sue and I will take care of it."

"Dad, you don't have to."

"Yes, I do." They had a seat at the kitchen table and she heated some leftover bread pudding and decaf for them both. He brought up her husband again.

"He's not doing anything bad. He's spending some time out with his brothers is all." Bret had two brothers, Bruce and Brad. Bella choked on something the day she met Brad, because it had been her and Embry's inside joke when he talked about her getting to know the banker guy. He knew his real name, but always pretended he didn't. That was something she always kept to herself. Bret's family was pretty awesome. His father actually saved their house for them, but it was a temporary solution. They were going to have to make more money and quick, to keep it permanently. She knew why her father had become super critical, but she believed Bret. He was going to his meetings, seeing his therapist. He was also working a part-time job. She poured over the bank accounts each an every day. There hadn't been any odd withdrawals or strange charges in a long time.

Charlie didn't stay too late. He promised to be out at the ballpark for Connor's t-ball practice and first game in the morning.

She curled up on the sectional with a book. She slept there most nights because her reading kept him awake and she could barely sleep. Reading was her only means of escape. Bella heard the car door slam, so she put her book away and pretended to be asleep. She wanted to see him, but he might get the wrong idea that she was waiting up on him because she didn't trust him. They'd been working on trust issues. She was surprised by his confession at one of their sessions that he harbored resentment against her. He claimed she never loved him enough, not like he knew she loved her first husband and his brother. Yep, he went there and told their therapist the entire story. She had to explain whether some of the things he said were true. Were they? She denied them, but was still confused.

She agreed to move in rather quickly. Her six month lease at the apartment hadn't even run out. He gave her the guest room because he wasn't trying to rush the physical relationship she didn't seem ready for. They had a short engagement, but an elaborate wedding. His parents didn't have daughters and they wanted a grand affair. She allowed it, even though it wasn't really her thing. She knew the morning Charlie came to her room before he escorted her down the aisle a second time that he had reservations. He claimed to be very impressed with Bret, but he wasn't sure rushing into marriage was the best thing for her. She knew she loved him, but there was some hesitation as to how much.

His patience, kindness, and understanding allowed her love to grow and by the time they were expecting Connor which was sooner than they'd planned originally, Bella was deeply in love with her husband.

Bret pressed his lips over forehead, before filling up a glass of ice water in the kitchen. She fought an internal battle inside her mind. Maybe, she should get up and follow him to bed. She was wide awake. Their sex life had dwindled considerably since he lost the job with the mortgage company. Of course, the revelations and the fighting put a huge rift between them, but during the rebuilding phase, Bella tried to renew that part of their relationship many times. It was a rare occurrence. She was approaching almost two months since they'd been physical. He still showed her affection and they expressed their love verbally, but that was it. They weren't even fighting. She often thought everything was too damn quiet and they had two rambunctious children, but the house almost seemed like an underground crypt.

She ended up staying on the sofa. Her mind was a jumbled mess, she wouldn't be fit for conversation with him, so she never let him know she was awake. Bella spent so much time wondering how she'd been so clueless. When she moved into the farmhouse on the impressive lot out in the country, she was at peace. It felt like home even though it was so different than the reservation. Bret said she never had to worry about a thing. He knew she loved her bakery, but he made plenty of money to keep them living comfortably. He also said work as much as you want, but you don't have to. She could save her profits from the bakery, perhaps for retirement or anything else she saw fit. She had gotten to where she never even checked the finances, he paid the bills. If they needed a large purchase, he bought it. He'd consult her, but that was only for cosmetic reasons, like white or stainless when they remodeled the kitchen. She never looked at the price tag.

So many things came crashing down at once. She came home early with Annie one afternoon from the bakery because the baby had a fever. Connor preferred to stay at Bret's parents' house when they weren't busy. Presently, both children went to preschool which Charlie paid for to give her a break three days a week, but at the time, they were with her constantly. Bella happened to drive up at the same time as the mailman. Bret usually got the mail, and she didn't think anything about it. A letter stood out to her and she opened it. Huge withdrawals and cash advances were on a credit card. She had no idea the line of credit even existed. When he got home, she asked if it was a mistake.

He flew off the handle. Bella had never seen him so irate. He was barely recognizable. Things only got worse the days that followed. Bret had lost his job and had kept it from her for weeks. He'd been spending their money right and left. He borrowed and ran up enormous amounts of debt. The house was three months delinquent. Her world was crumbling and she'd missed all the signs.

Gambling. It was the last thing she would've ever imagined. That's what did them in and she was oblivious. She knew he and some buddies enjoyed the races and sports. They'd gone on a boys' trip to Vegas once a year, but she had no idea it was excessive and he was doing it on a daily basis. She tried not to panic about the job at first. He blamed it on the fall of the industry and the economy at first, but she suspected it was more than that, since he couldn't find another position in his field. Bret always promised they had seven to eight months of living expenses in savings early in their marriage. She couldn't believe it when she found it was all gone. There was no more savings, only debt upon debts. He wanted her to borrow against the bakery. She refused, she wouldn't put Sam and Emily in the middle of their situation. Of course, Emily volunteered to help with a few things, like keeping the utilities on. Several disconnect notices were also in the mail in the days that followed.

Bella ended up confiding the entire situation to her father. He helped pack her and the children up and took them to his house. She begged Seth not to tell any of the others when he came by for a visit. She was so embarrassed. She didn't want anyone to know. A week went by before Bret appeared at Sue and Charlie's. He was a mess. Her husband barely drank a stray beer watching the game on Sunday and he reeked of hard liquor. He was sobbing and pleading with her to come back home. He said he couldn't live without her and his babies. She wouldn't let him see the children until he sobered up. Brad brought him, so at least he hadn't endangered lives driving in that condition.

Against her better judgment, she returned home the following day. He swore he would do whatever it took. He joined a gambling support group, found a therapist and a marriage counselor for them as a couple. She truly didn't want a divorce. She wanted her husband back...the sweet, perfect man that she'd loved for the past four years, the man that was an excellent father to her children. He was a good man and she still believed in him. The ball was in his court. She was asking a lot and nothing was easy, but she never left again. Bella stayed to fight for her marriage even though many days, it seemed like she was the only one. The year had been tough, but she'd survived tougher situations and came out standing.

* * *

All the family came in together Saturday morning. Connor was ecstatic, he got a hit and a run his first time up to the tee. She made them all some lunch. Anison was out as soon as they started home, so Bret carried her to bed for a nap. Charlie was cordial to Bret for a change. She was hoping things were turning around, perhaps. Bret's father was involved with the local church and they'd found him some odd jobs with a local construction company. They really needed something permanent if they were going to maintain their lifestyle. She'd said more than once, she'd downsize, but he refused. The house and land were his dream and he wanted something to pass onto his children. He didn't want to sell. She knew his manhood had taken several blows, but it was all his fault. Bret told them goodbye, that he had to help build a fence. He was going to make a few hundred bucks and they needed everything he could get.

Charlie brought up her taking the kids, spending the following day and possibly the night with him. She had been wanting to take the kids to the beach.

"Billy's finally home, he'd love to see you." Bella wanted to see him too, but she'd stayed away while he was in the rehab hospital. She didn't want to bring him any of Annie's germs. He was recovering from bypass surgery. He'd given them a huge scare the month before. Apparently, Embry found him unresponsive, slumped over in his chair one evening when he went over with dinner. He got there just in time and called an ambulance. The emergency treatments on the way to the hospital saved his life.

* * *

Bella had managed not to see Embry all those years, since he drove off from her house. Of course, she knew things and he probably knew things about her because of the family they shared and the pack. The biggest event was that he officially rejoined the pack. He never would take the alpha position from Seth, but he was beta. That was a huge deal for all of them. He made peace with his brothers and more importantly, his twin sisters knew who he truly was to them. The pain had faded and she knew from Charlie, they were all close, finally. The other thing she was aware of was that Emb had met someone. Billy suspected they would marry eventually. She was happy it seemed he'd finally found a way to forgive himself. She would always feel a little remorse it took so long and that he never could achieve such a thing with her.

Oh well, they both had very different lives. He'd always be special to her. She knew there was a closed off place in her heart where he would remain. Just like she never forgot what Jacob was to her, she felt a similar way about Embry.

She climbed in her bed with Bret that evening and told him about Billy. He encouraged her to visit because he knew how much she worried about him. He also knew Connor was excited about going to the beach and the weather was supposed to be good.

"You can go? I mean, I want you to go with us."

"Nah, I've got some work, but you deserve to relax and have fun. Spend the night, so you don't have to drive home late." He leaned in and gave her a kiss. For just a second, it felt like old times. She tried to make it last longer, but he pulled away. He said he was beat from the long afternoon of manual labor. Bella tried to stay in the bed next to her husband, but after an hour of tossing and turning, she got up and went to the kitchen. Her stomach grumbled because she realized she skipped dinner again. She made a bowl of cereal.

The dim light from the stove cast shadows all around. Bella ate her cereal in silence, her eyes scanned the room. Anison and Connor had drawn a collaborative picture for their dad the week before for Father's Day. Her perfectionist son had trouble watching his baby sister scribble all over his masterpiece, but Bella assured him, he could also make one solo. Both drawings were on the bulletin board, under the calendar. She picked up an action figure, a toy car and baby doll off the table. Connor must have missed them during clean up time. She walked them over to the box they had for downstairs toys, but she stopped to stare at the t-ball bat leaned against the corner. It was all true, the realization swept over her. She was living out Alice's vision. Bella had once loved her life. She was blessed with a husband that loved her and two beautiful children, but there she was in the thick of it and she just was...she was existing, but no longer living. Her hand instinctively went to her cheek, but nothing was there. She'd gone through an emotional roller coaster the previous year, but she'd long left that ride...Bella didn't even cry anymore.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	9. Chapter 9:New Friend, Old Friend?

_**~Thanks so much for sticking with it. That last one was tough for me too.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 9: New Friend, Old Friend?

"Knock knock...are you up for some company?"

"Yes, of course, from my favorite daughter in law...always, but where are my little rugrats?"

Bella told Billy she didn't want to spring that on him just yet. He'd only been out of the rehab hospital a few days.

"Maybe, we all could stop by tomorrow before we head home. Would that work?"

"Absolutely, Charlie says Annie needs surgery."

Bella laughed. As soon as those two got into the twenty-first century, and got good cellphones, they went overboard with the texting. Bella had gone over all the slang and acronyms she knew. Her father thought he was going to be so much hipper than Billy, but he had Rach give him the same tutorial.

"It's only tubes and it's outpatient. I'm scheduling it as soon as possible." Bella checked out the fridge and pantry. "Who did this? There's not a single junk item left. I'm proud of you."

He grumbled, but she said none of them were ready to lose him. She was prepared to make him some heart healthy, diabetic friendly meals.

"Why don't you call them taste-free? That's what they are."

"Nonsense." Bella promised to only make tasty items.

"Well, the one Emb made last night was rotten."

As soon as the nickname slipped off his tongue he looked regretful. "It's okay, you know I hear his name often? Bella was well aware Billy knew the whole story about Bret. Seth, Sam and Emily knew a great deal as well. She was sure Rachel and Paul were also pretty informed. She really hoped none of them divulged too much about her to Embry.

"How are you, child? Really? None of those blankets statements, like fine or okay."

"Billy, please I'm here for you. You had major surgery."

My heart is more than stints and vessels, there's another part and it worries about you and those babies all the time.

"We're fine." She covered her mouth, because she said what he didn't want to hear. "I promise." He frowned. "Okay, better...not perfect, maybe not great, but we're going to make it. At least the kids are too young to know what's been going on."

Bella hoped that was true. Anison was only two, but Connor was four and sometimes he had a worried look in his eyes. He also brought her paintings and drawings frequently. She got the hint he was trying to cheer her up. Bella could tell Billy was getting tired and she knew Charlie probably already had the kids out at the beach. He would need help.

Hopefully, Emily and Rachel had met up with him by then. They were all going, so the kids could play together. Connor loved being around other kids. Rachel and Paul had two very lively boys. Billy shook his head when she asked about River and Flint. She knew they were little tornadoes and Billy usually banished them to the outdoors because they were always breaking things. Connor was a little bit calmer than most little boys, but he tried to keep up with them when they got together. Emily had two girls and a brand new son. Her girls were born around the time she and Jacob got married, so they were big helpers. They fussed over Annie, she thought she might actually have some relaxing moments at the beach while both kids were occupied.

* * *

Bella made it to the spot where Emily had set up. She encouraged Bella to to sit down and relax with her. She sat in one of the beach chairs to feed Dakota, so Bella took the seat next to her. Rachel was late with the boys, something about threatening to cancel if they didn't clean their room. Charlie took Connor off to the side to toss around a football. Emily's girls had Anison a few feet away working on a princess castle. Bella kept turning her head to check on her daughter.

"Relax, woman. She has two little mommies on her tail. They won't let her venture away from the circle Aspen drew in the sand. You need this time in the sun. Close your eyes, and soak up some rays."

"Is that your nice way of reminding me I look like shit?" She already knew she did.

"That's not the word I was thinking, but sweetie...you look so tired. I don't know how you keep going. We all want to help. Let us."

Bella took Emily's advice. She ate a sandwich, dug a book out of her bag and stripped down to her swimsuit. She couldn't remember the last time she wore it. Of course, she ran back and forth to double check on the kids first, but they were happily involved in activities.

"We've got this Bells. Go relax." her father assured her.

She generously applied sunblock. Hopefully, she'd get a little bit of color without burning. First, she laid out on her back with her book in the air. She heard Annie scream out, so she pulled her sunglasses up to find they were screams of joy because the castle was complete.

Bella flipped over to let her backside feel the heat as well. Em was right, she was so tired. She could barely keep her eyes open and kept seeing the same words over and over. Finally, she folded over the page and pushed the novel aside so that she could rest her cheek against her arm.

She knocked out in less than five minutes. Bella was warm and relaxed. For once, her problems all drifted away. Maybe they floated out to sea, since she was at the shore. She tried to snap out of her slumber occasionally. She was a mother and should be watching her children, but Emily, her girls, and her father, seemed to be handling it with ease. _Sleep_, she told herself. Everyone was worried, they all loved her. Bella was lying to all of them, she wasn't okay. She was about to crack. The past year and all the uncertainties were shattering her.

* * *

Warmth, comfort, rest...she stopped fighting again. She was nowhere or somewhere, nothing else mattered until Connor's voice echoed in her ears. "Watch out, Momma!"

"Ow," she responded when the blunt end of a football bounced off her butt cheek like a trampoline.

Bella quickly rolled over and sat up.

Connor was on the way over, apologizing for his missed catch.

He and Charlie must have moved closer. There was no way her dad could throw a football that far.

"Are you hurt, Momma?"

"No honey, just startled, but I needed to get up. Momma burns in the sun and I've been out here too long."

"You awake now, come see my friend."

Bella stood up and stretched. Her child could make a friend anywhere he went.

"Sure, who's your friend?" She put her sunglasses on and tried to adjust to the light.

"Over there with Grandpa, his name's...um, Bee..I think. He played football with me. He throws far...real, real far."

She finally saw who Connor was talking about. For five years, they all did their best at keeping the two of them from running into each other, but today her world once again collided with his. He'd played out on the beach with her son and there was no doubt he was looking her way. Emily came up to her.

"Are you going to say something or are the two of you going to stand there and stare all day?"

"I...I can't do this, Emily. Why's he here? Did someone invite him?"

She shrugged. "It's a nice day, maybe it's a coincidence."

Connor became impatient with his mother and pulled her by the hand. Each step closer to Embry increased her anxiety level.

"Hey Bee, this is Momma."

"Hi Bella." His voice was low and sexy, just like she remembered. He was only wearing dark blue, board shorts. She swore he looked exactly the same which cause her to be very embarrassed about her appearance in front of him.

Before she could answer, Connor asked how he knew her name.

"Embry," she slowly stated, since he was missing most of his name. "is an old friend. We've known each other a long time."

He didn't have anymore questions for them. Her child was easily satisfied and he didn't need a lot of details.

"Ok, bye...I'm playing with Flint and River."

He ran off and left them all alone standing by the shore. Bella didn't move. She stood still as the cool waves moved further in and covered her feet. Her arms attempted to cover her torso, since she hadn't thought to grab her cover-up.

"What are you doing here?" she didn't mean for it to come out like she was annoyed, but it did.

"Rachel sent me in her place. The boys were on her last nerve, so I said I'd take over. She was getting a headache."

"Oh." Bella was kinda suspicious of Rachel because she knew for a fact she would be there with her kids, and she normally made certain they wouldn't run into each other. Maybe her headache was so bad, she forgot.

"You're a little pink. Did you fall asleep?" he was looking at her shoulder.

"I, um...I need to check on the kids."

He followed her a few steps. "Wait up. I haven't seen you in forever. How are you? You sure have some cute kids. That little boy's smart too."

She turned around with her hands on her hips. "There's no way I'm doing this."

"What? Saying hello."

"Exactly, catching up with you, talking about my children. You left, remember? That was the end of us. Thanks for entertaining Connor, but as you pointed out, I've had enough sun for the day. Bye."

Annie was fine about leaving because she was exhausted, but Connor became very upset since Rachel's boys had only just gotten there. Emily also needed to leave and get Dakota indoors and cleaned up.

He came up to her again as she was trying to explain to a four year why playtime was over. He was crying that he wasn't a baby, which wasn't helping to convince her otherwise.

"I'm already staying, I can watch Connor for you and bring him over to Charlie's. You're staying there tonight, right? I think Rachel said that was the case." Bella wanted to shake Rachel about that time. All those years ago, they hid from her because of her animosity towards Embry and now she was giving him her agenda for the weekend.

"No thanks, he doesn't know you and that's too much. Paul's sons are enough to handle."

Emily, who was supposed to be her best friend came to Embry's defense. "He's really good with the boys, Bella. They listen to him. I don't see a problem with it."

Connor overheard, "Yeah, I'm staying with...um Em-bry." It was the first time he said it correctly. She was so outnumbered, so she pulled her son off to the side and went over all the dangers of not listening or misbehaving around the water. She advised him that Embry was Flint and River's uncle and he was the adult in charge. He had to do everything he said and when it was time to leave, no arguments.

* * *

Charlie offered to stay to ease her mind, but she knew he was beat, so the three of them left together. Bella gave Annie a quick rinse in the tub and put her down for a nap. She took a long shower herself. The entire time she was in there, she was trying to figure out what in the heck happened out on the beach. Why did she have to run into him on her one free weekend? She tried to calm herself the entire time and nothing worked. He had to have known her heart was racing and her breathing was irregular. Five long years, and he still got to her...had some sort of hold over her. He sure was being awfully chummy as well. That was the only thing different. She guessed his reconciliations with the pack had altered his personality some. He was taken according to Billy. Maybe, being an a normal relationship had changed him some. She wondered briefly what the woman was like. It wasn't her business, but she hoped he was finally happy.

Bella was kinda hoping he'd drop Connor off while she was in the shower, so she wouldn't have to see him again. She even sent a text to Rachel letting her know it might be better for her to bring him, but she hadn't heard back. She was shocked to hear her father on the phone when she entered the kitchen.

"Oh, sure, sounds good. He needs more time with kids around his age. Yeah, whenever, sounds fine. I'll tell Bells."

"What was that about?"

Charlie said Paul was home from work. He and Embry were firing up the grill and making burgers and hot dogs. "They want Connor to stay over a little longer. I told them fine."

"I don't know Dad. You know he loves to retell stories. What if he tells Bret I left him with Embry all day? He knows who he is."

Her father shook his head and told her for the hundredth time she looked tired and she should go have a nap with Anison. He obviously didn't think it was a big deal either. Had everyone gone nuts? When did they all come such Embry fans when she wasn't paying attention? Bella headed down the hall to take him up on his suggestion. She didn't want to think anymore.

"Oh, by the way...Embry said you could come over to eat too. They have plenty."

She didn't even respond. No way was she going to dinner with him.

She rested a good solid hour. She got up with Annie and helped Sue fix dinner. They watched a cartoon or two, but Bella couldn't stop clock watching. How much longer? Bret texted and asked if they had a good time. She left out that Connor was staying with Rachel and Paul, that her ex was his new buddy. She offered to do the dishes while Sue was entertaining Anison. She needed a distraction. Finally, a little before eight, she saw headlights out the window.

Bella ran to greet them. She planned on grabbing Connor, so he wouldn't even have to exit his vehicle. However, he was much quicker and she was shocked to see Embry carrying her sleeping son on his shoulder. He whispered as he passed her, "Where to?"

She pointed to the twin bed in the corner of the room where she slept. He seemed unsure how to do it, so she came up beside him and they made an exchange. Bella knew how to lay him down without waking him. She slipped his shoes off and covered him up, all the while, she tried to ignore the fact that she and Embry touched during the process. She walked him out to the hall. He told her how the boys ran all their energy off outside and what Connor had eaten. He complimented her again. "That's really a great kid. I've seen his picture, but I was glad to finally meet him. The little one didn't pay attention to me on the beach. Let me guess, she's shy like you, huh?"

"A little," Bella kept walking towards the door. It was her way of saying, so long without seeming too pushy. Charlie and Sue had been roped into pulling out a full length Disney film. Anison had that long nap and might be up another hour or so. Her father followed them to the door as well. She was thinking, _good move, Dad._ Charlie could escort Embry out and then she wouldn't have another awkward pause telling him thanks and goodbye.

The two men shook hands and he told him thanks for giving Bella break.

"Um...would you mind if Bella and I took a little drive? We need to talk about a couple of things."

What? Did he just ask her father for permission to take her somewhere? That was the oddest request she'd ever heard.

"Oh, sure, we've got it covered with Little Miss. She loves the movie Sue just started up. Yeah, you kids take your time. Night, Bells, in case we're in bed when you get back."

"Wait, no…I'm not going for a drive." She looked back at her father who was slowing shutting her out of the house. "Embry, what are you thinking? I can't go driving around with you."

"Well, we can sit outside and talk if you'd rather do that."

_Click._ Charlie actually shut her out on the porch with him. Her father was never very fond of what went on between them. Why wasn't he coming to her aid?

"Why? I mean...what is it? Why do you think we need to talk, because we don't."

"Come on, I want to show you something. Let's take that drive."

"No."

"Bella, it's just a drive."

Had she ever just gone on a drive with him? No, she'd only rode to his apartment which always led to... she shut her mind down before going there.

He tried to tug her arm, but she pulled back. Embry really shouldn't be touching her. She was positive of that.

They had nothing to talk about. She told him at the beach, he left. That was the end, but sure enough after five minutes of arguing, she was in his passenger seat. The car was new and different, but the situation felt eerily similar. Where was he taking her? What did they need to talk about? Why did she go? She answered her own question..._because __the truth was, __she really wanted to._

**_~Thanks for reading._**


	10. Chapter 10:Somebody Should Leave

_**~A/N As always, this story is what it is. Hugely recommend you listening to or looking up the lyrics to Reba McEntire's song, "Somebody Should Leave." This chapter comes with a high angst level warning towards the middle. **_

**_Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer._**

Chapter 10: Somebody Should Leave

She watched him express his amusement. "Some things never change. You still do that pouty thing whenever I drive you around."

"I assure you nothing is the same, so don't pretend this is Déjà vu**.** "

He shrugged and kept driving. They didn't go too far. He stopped on a vacant lot surrounded by trees. He opened his door. She didn't move.

He stuck his head back inside. "Come on, you can't see everything unless you get out."

She followed him until she heard they were close to the shore. She was thinking third beach and he said that was right.

"So, you brought me to a grassy spot that supposedly has a view, but it's too dark to enjoy. I'm confused."

"No, I brought you to this particular piece of land, cuz I own it and you're partially the reason why." He said when he heard she'd be staying at Charlie's less than 24 hours after he closed, it seemed like a sign or something.

"Emb...why me, why now? I'm happy that you seem content and you're settling down. I thought you would end up in an even bigger city than PA, never back on the reservation. I guess your girlfriend must have something to do with that."

"We broke up."

"What? Billy practically had you at the altar. I thought you were proposing."

"That's what she wanted, but do I really seem like the white picket fence type of guy? She deserved better".

"Oh my God. You're still doing it. It wasn't just me."

He explained the circumstances were entirely different, but she didn't buy it so easily.

"I liked her, we had a lot in common, but it wasn't meant to be. That's pretty common. What happened between the two of us was altogether different. I was a fucked up mess and I was keeping you down with me."

"And you're not fucked up anymore?"

"I'm not perfect."

"I never asked that of you, not even once."

He told her where he was in his relationships with his sisters, with the pack. He was there for his father. She already knew that. Bella still wanted to know why he thought she should be there with him after so many years of no contact.

"I know all those times, you were trying to get through to me, you thought it wasn't doing any good. Well...it was. Little by little, I was making changes. I asked for Jake's forgiveness a while back. Even though he couldn't respond, I felt absolution in a way. Is that dumb?"

"No, it's very beautiful because he would have forgiven you, I know it."

"I'm sorry, it wasn't fast enough. It made me seem like a dick. I pushed you away, but I wanted to be whole...you deserved that. You have children now, I know that was a dream of yours. I'm happy for you."

Even though it was pitch black out there, she looked away. Bella didn't want her face to betray her emotions. She was thankful for those children. She was thankful for the memory of a loving husband that accepted her broken and fragmented heart, but loved her in spite of her past. She grieved what they once had. She wasn't sure the broken trust could ever be mended between them. She really didn't want Embry to know any of those things about her.

He told her all about the design plans. He got really excited. "And the studio will have a giant floor to ceiling window that overlooks the ocean. "I'll get great natural light in the late afternoon, early evening. We're at a pretty high elevation and I'm building a split level."

She'd seen a lot of his work over the years. Billy always had something on hand or Rachel would tell her about it. She was happy he stuck with it and still was able to be a part of the pack. Embry told her all about a trip he'd just returned from in Hawaii. It was amazing to Bella how they could pick back up and have such easy conversation, but she knew she really needed to get back.

They walked to his car. He had a few more confessions she wasn't expecting.

"I came back."

"Excuse me? Wha...what do you mean?"

"I mean, watching you leaving with him that one day shredded me, but I was gutless. I let you go, told myself over and over, it was the right thing. A week went by and I looked at myself in the mirror. I'd been drunk most of the days. I wasn't eating or taking care of myself. I looked like shit...felt even worse, so I sobered up, cleaned up and went to the bakery one afternoon."

"I...I never saw you."

"But I saw you. You were at a table with him and you were laughing. I think you fed something to him. You looked like a real couple. I tried to think back to an instance I made you smile and look so carefree, but I couldn't recall even one."

"So you left again."

"Yep."

"Well...alright then, thanks for your honesty. I'm happy for you, your family and the pack. Let's, let go of the past...once and for all."

He said there was one more thing, but she insisted on him taking her back. She was close to losing it, knowing he considered coming back to her. He drove back to her dad's and they didn't say much more. That would be the end of it. He was content, it seemed. She had a life and obligations. They both learned from the relationship they once shared. That's how she saw it.

"Bye Embry. Thanks, for the talk, it was good to catch up. I think the closure did us some good."

He reached for her arm again. "No wait, there's one other thing I have to say. It's been driving me nuts."

"What is it? I'm super tired." Or she was super uncomfortable. She really needed out of the vehicle.

"Before you go, would you please be honest with me about what's going on?"

"No clue, what are you talking about?"

"With you and your husband?"

She didn't hesitate to exit his car in a huff. How dare he? He'd crossed the line. Her personal life was none of his concern.

Embry followed her to the porch. They were gone longer than she realized, all the lights were off except one small table lamp in the entryway she could see glowing through the window.

"Bella, I know how you think, what you're probably thinking right now, but please. I walked away permanently so you could have a good, drama free life. Something's up. Everybody keeps hiding shit from me, closing their minds off when we're phased together. That means one thing, it's about you. Did Bret do something? Are you having problems? So help me, he better not be cheating. Is that it, did he cheat?"

She plopped down on the steps and covered her face with her hands. The tears came easily, since she was so emotional after spending some time with him. He didn't interrupt her at first, but then she felt his arm move around her waist. She hadn't felt warmth like that in forever. God, she missed it.

"I'm sorry. You all are right. It's none of my business, but I swore to protect you way back when the redhead was on the loose. I still take the vow seriously."

She eventually stopped sniveling and said something that she'd thought many times but never voiced. "I wish he was having an affair. That would've been so much easier. It would've been cut and dry. For me, it's worse than that."

She felt his muscles tense up. "Did he fucking hurt you or one of those kids?"

"No, of course not. Bret's not violent. He usually skeet shoots with his brothers because he doesn't even want to hunt animals."

Bella took a deep breath and she told him about the past year, the abridged version. She told him about the long term gambling, subsequent addiction, and how much it annihilated their finances.

"But he stopped?"

"I think so, he promised he wouldn't, but there's some obvious trust issues. He beats himself a lot for being so weak-minded. He hasn't had a regular job in over a year."

"You're staying together though?"

"Yes." She didn't have anything to add to that. She wanted to stay with Bret. She married him, had a family. She was going to celebrate her thirtieth birthday soon and she didn't want to be divorced. It was the reason she was scared of marriage in the first place. She wasn't doing that to her children.

They sat together on the steps a little while longer. Embry didn't bad mouth Bret like she thought he might. Paul, Sam and Charlie all had many choice words for him, but once he knew the truth, he didn't judge. He told her he was sorry.

"My number's still the same, you know and I'll live in the loft at least six more months. If you ever need anything day or night, I'll always be available. I know why we kept our distance these years, but I never stopped caring."

She thanked him and accepted a friendly hug from him before going inside. She worried for nothing. Getting most things off her chest to him somehow made her feel better. She got ready for bed and found Charlie had laid Annie in the middle of her double bed. Connor was still soundly sleeping, but he'd kicked off the covers like always. She covered him back up and gently rubbed her hand across his sandy, blonde hair. She snuggled up next to Annie and kissed her cheek. Her daughter mumbled. Bella was used to that. She was a sleep talker just like her mother.

It was one of the reasons, she always headed to the sofa when she knew she was restless. He told her after a therapy session...just once, he wished it was his name she said in her sleep. That made her feel treacherous even though she couldn't help it if she was sleeping. She often wondered if he felt inadequate in not one, but two men's shadows. Perhaps, that's what led to the gambling, but she'd read enough about addiction to know the blame was solely the addict's problem.

Bella was ready to go home. The night away had been good for her. She was going to try harder when she got back. Things needed to change.

* * *

Going back on a Monday had been hectic. Bella had to get the kids to preschool and go straight to work. She knew they probably needed several things from the store, and she really didn't feel like going at five in the afternoon. She called Bret and asked him if he felt like going out and surprisingly, he said, he did.

They ended up picking a place that was kid-friendly, mainly because there was an ice cream machine available after dinner. Bret seemed to be in a light-hearted mood. Connor did quite a bit of talking. A few times, he said my friend or River's uncle. She held her breath, but Bret didn't react. Either, he didn't put two and two together or he wasn't really paying close attention. They didn't need any other source of conflict in their marriage. Her spending any amount of time with Embry would not have set well with him.

That night after the kids were asleep, she tried making some conversation, but Bret turned on the TV and started watching something she didn't care about. She picked up her book, the one she thought she'd finish over the weekend, but barely read. She read, he was silent. She was sick of the void when they were in a room alone.

He'd helped her with the kids earlier. They read a story together and Bret had wrestled around with both of them, negating what she'd done to calm them with the story. They briefly got ramped up again and started running around. She couldn't be mad about it. It had been too long since Bret took an interest in anything. She was hopeful, but when they were alone, he was his usual distant self.

After reading thirty pages or so, she remembered her promise to herself. She was going to try harder. Hopefully, it'd be enough to encourage him to meet her somewhere in the middle. Bella put her book down and switched off her lamp. She scooted to his side of the bed.

At first, she thought something might be happening. He held his arm up, so she could find a spot nestled against his side. Bella felt his hand start to rub over left shoulder. He turned off the TV, which was promising. They still needed to sort out so much, but maybe a good physical encounter would open the door to some communication. Bella made the first real advance. She crawled across his lap and straddled his legs. She looked into his eyes and thought back to all the things he'd done to make her fall in love with him. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. The first kiss seemed foreign. She couldn't remember the last time passion erupted between them. It was working. He was immediately turned on. Bret flipped her over and the start of some really good foreplay proceeded to take place.

As soon as she tried to slip her long t-shirt off, he balked. As quickly as he was turned on, he turned it off just as fast. He told her it had been a long day and they should get some rest. He said he had an early morning job and would be up before daylight. She tried to keep the sexiness going, but he shot her down. Bella probably hadn't felt so undesirable, since she was a teenage girl trying to get Edward to respond to her. She pulled her top back over her head, grabbed her book and her phone and went to the sofa. He was quiet, but she thought he was still awake when she left the room.

She wasn't sure why he kept rejecting, why he barely wanted to talk. He begged her to come home. He said he couldn't live without her. Did he think they would ever get better, pushing her away? Bella scrolled through her phone. It wasn't listed in her contacts under his name, she'd deleted that detail a long time ago. Why had she kept the rest? Why was she so tempted to call? She used her better judgment and put the phone on the coffee table and read the rest of her novel before falling asleep.

She promised, he promised...bad times happened in every marriage, she wasn't giving up.

* * *

The weeks moved on, there were little bits of progress, but sometimes huge setbacks. Bella kept trying to have a better attitude. She was pleasantly surprised when her father and Sue showed up late one afternoon and offered to take the kids out for pizza.

"You can come too, but Sue wants to take them to the one with all the games, and hoopla. Do they serve beer there?"

"Yeah, I think they do."

"Good, so you wanna go or not?"

She told him she was looking forward to some peace and quiet with Bret. He even offered to take them home to spend the night. Bella rushed upstairs and got a bag together for them. She got busy putting together a special dinner. She made one of his favorites. He came in and had a shower. He realized when they sat down, the kids were gone. She told him all about her father's bravery.

"Isn't this nice? We have the house to ourselves. Hey, I've got an idea. Let's open a bottle of wine and really celebrate. We could order a movie or something."

"Ah, baby...I really want to, especially after you went to all this trouble, but I've already promised Mom, I'd help out tonight. Dad's back keeps him from doing all the minor repairs. She's got a leaky pipe and the dryer vent's clogged."

"Oh, well, I could go over and visit. When you finish, we'll still have some time. Maybe we could go to that place I love with all the different flavored gelatos for a treat."

He came up to her and gave her a tender hug and kissed her cheek. "After I fix the sink, Brad was bringing some snacks and beer and we were going to watch the playoff game. I was thinking it might be late, so I might crash if we end up drinking too many."

He rarely drank too many. She kept hearing every excuse, thinking he just didn't want to be alone with her. He said if she would have let him know earlier, he wouldn't have made all the plans with his family. Bella wanted to scream in his face. _I'm your family! _She kept quiet as he kissed her on the cheek again. She decided to give it one more try and followed him to his truck. He'd already started it up and shut the door, but he opened it back up. He pulled her close for another hug and that time gave her a real kiss. She closed her eyes and relished the attention.

"Next time, I swear...maybe we'll take an overnight trip," he promised. They hadn't done that since that weekend she got pregnant with Anison.

She stepped back and he told her to enjoy her free time. He shut the door again and drove off. Bella watched as a small slip of paper fluttered in the breeze created by his truck. It must have fallen out. She bent over to pick it up and glanced over the print to make sure it wasn't important, before tossing it the trash. Her eyes focused on one word. **CASINO**. It was from a gambling center about an hour and half away. She pleaded in her mind, _let it be old._ It might have been stuck under his seat all that time. Her heart ached at the reality. It was from the day before. All his promises were only more lies. She wasn't sure how he was doing it again, without her finding a money trail. She checked everyday. The excuse of spending time at his family's was probably just that...a fucking excuse. She wondered if they'd be honest with her if she called. She'd long suspected they covered for him because they were in denial.

* * *

Bella quickly loaded the dishwasher and tidied up the kitchen. She jumped in the shower and dressed up slightly. She actually took a little time with her appearance. She wasn't going to cry about it any longer. She'd gone into automatic pilot mode. She started driving. The fifteen miles or so to town would give her time to reconsider, but she was on a mission and there was no turning back. She was so tired of being lied to...tired of being alone. Bella wanted to know what it was like to feel loved again. She'd done everything possible since that weekend in La Push to make things better. Bret said he loved them, but his actions said otherwise. She said she loved him back every time, but she still thought about_ another_ far too often.

Those few minutes next to him that night on her dad's porch were all the reminder she needed. Their relationship was a twisted mess, but there was one part that was always sublime. Her hand was in front of her face knocking even though she swore, she didn't know how she'd gotten there.

Embry opened the door and said her name like he wasn't sure if she was real, "Bella."

She didn't wait for him to invite her in. She ran into his open arms. He said if she ever needed anything, he was there. It only to one look between them for him to know why she was there. In an instant, it all came back to her...she still loved him. Hopefully, he would love her back.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_


	11. Chapter 11:Unfaithful

_**~A/N Sorry for the delay, but guess what? I finished this story except the Epi is still being worked on. Brace yourselves, I've stuck with the angst/tragedy genre most of the way through. I don't condone these character's behavior. It's a work of fiction, but it's good for an escape.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 11: Unfaithful

Bella didn't hesitate, she pressed her mouth against his and all the magic came back. Embry was kissing her again and she didn't want it to end, she only wanted more. She jumped and he picked her up all the way. He walked them to the couch and sat her on the back so he could stand between her legs. He kept kissing her mercilessly. She moved her lips in perfect synchronization with his. She opened up and fully submitted to the passion. Her feet pulled him tighter.

He briefly pulled his mouth off hers, only to trail kisses down her jawline.

He panted against her skin. "Bella, what happened? Are you alright?" He kissed her mouth again quickly.

"Please Emb, don't say you don't want me."

"Hell no, I've always wanted you...always," he kissed her again. She felt how much he wanted her when jerked his hips against her. "Are you positive? I mean...should we be doing this?"

Bella couldn't believe how normal it felt. Should she be hesitant or have guilty reluctance? That was the right way to feel, but she didn't. She spoke up, so he wouldn't have any doubt why she came to him. "Take me to your bed and make love to me. That's all I'm sure about."

Previously, she over thought everything. It was her way, but her renewal of feelings had been building for weeks. Bret betrayed her again and again. He pushed her away continuously. She witnessed the way Embry looked at her during their brief reunion. He felt something too. She felt stripped in front of him even when she was fully dressed. Bret never looked at her that way. How could she be married to someone for five years and he still not know who she truly was?

Soon, she was spread out on Emby's bed. It was almost like she'd never left. All traces of clothing were removed in record time.

He whispered against her mouth. "You think I forgot your body?" She shook her head side to side. "I still know exactly how to make you cum, baby." His hand rested just below her navel and she gasped. There might be a hint of embarrassment, since he had never seen or felt her post-baby body. She bounced back quickly and was probably considered underweight because of the stress, but nothing was exactly as before. She tried to stop him before he touched her stretch marks. He held her hand between his fingers.

"Don't you you know how beautiful you are too me?"

His mouth felt so good against hers. She'd missed him more than she ever realized. She had pretended all those years she was over him, but it was a lie. He kissed her breathless, but eventually settled against her neck. He licked and sucked her delicate skin between his teeth. His hands were everywhere she wanted them.

She had an ache between her legs that only he could satisfy. He must have known because seconds later, she was gripping the sheets with her legs wrapped around his head.

Each source of her need was met with gratification. When he joined with her again, they both held still for several seconds. Bella was quickly reminded how good some wolf loving could be. She was literally starved for attention and affection. He held nothing back. He gave her all that she needed and more.

With every thrust, he went deeper...into her body but somewhere else as well. She felt like there was a reclaiming of her soul taking place.

Maybe she had gone there for some validation that she was still a desirable woman and she knew he'd reassure her, but making love with him again opened her eyes to even more.

Embry held her face with the palm of his hand. "So beautiful...feels so good, so right."

She raised her legs, gripped him tighter and higher up his torso. Her orgasms came in sequences. She barely had time to catch her breath. Only when he was assured, she was completely satisfied, he suggested he was close.

His warm hands trailed down her skin in various places. "Can you come again with me, baby? I need you, I want you...I never quit. I'm going to fix it. Let me fix you."

She believed him, even if she didn't know how it was possible. She held onto him tighter, he moved faster, and seconds later, they were both experiencing a perfect completion. Not the end, however...Bella couldn't take it if it was.

He held her in silence for a long while. She knew she probably should go, but her body felt weighted to his bed.

"What happened?"

"Bret's gambling again." He sat up and looked away...towards the window.

She hoped he didn't take the information the wrong way.

"Emb, say something."

"Why here? Why now with me?"

She knew he must have some misgivings about her intentions, so she did her best to explain. "I've thought about you so much these past few weeks. I wanted to call, I wanted to stop by many times, but I was trying to do the right thing."

He asked if she wanted anything from the kitchen. She told him, some water would be good. He came back drinking a beer, and handed her a water bottle.

"You're leaving him?"

She hadn't even let her mind think that far ahead. All she knew, was how much she wanted to be with Embry again and that was it. She stammered, "Um, I have so much on my plate. I just..."

He got back in bed and pulled her against his side. He kissed her temple. "Stay with me."

She was shocked, but how many times had she wanted him to say those words and he never did?

"I mean permanently, not just tonight, but I do want you to stay tonight, of course. You shouldn't be out driving late at night when you're upset. I'll go get your things tomorrow, the kids too. We'll be cramped until the house is done, but I'll put a rush on it. Where are the kids?"

"Oh my God, I hope you don't think I abandoned them or anything. They're at Charlie's."

He smiled. "No, I knew they were safe, you just didn't say."

She blushed, "Yeah, we didn't say much before." He kissed her mouth that time.

"I mean it, Bella. I know it might be hard to swallow coming from me...given our history, but I've changed a lot. I made mistakes, but I don't want to keep repeating them. Take this as a sign, we were meant to have our second chance."

"Who are you? And what did you do with Embry Call?" He laughed, saying he deserved that. "Sorry, I'm the fucked up mess now. How's that for role reversal?"

"We'll fix it...together. Just say 'yes.' Say you'll give us another chance."

"It's not that simple. It's not just the two of us anymore."

He promised, given the chance to get to know her children, he'd soon love them. Hopefully, they'd like him too. He knew there'd be some adjustments, but it might be a blessing they were so young.

"Bret doesn't deserve his family. He can't keep breaking you financially and lying to you about the help he promised to get. Hell, he probably steals from his own kid's piggy bank to support his habit. That's no way for a father to act. I know I'm not their father, but I'll do a better job. You know it's the truth."

Bella remembered something from the week before. Connor was going around crying about a ten dollar bill he was sure he put in his jar. She thought it was typical little boy carelessness. She wanted to hold the bill for safe keeping when Bret's dad gave it to him for some chores he'd helped with around their house. Bret told her, he was old enough to learn a little responsibility. She told Embry the story. "What if you're right? What if he stoled from his own son? I swear, I don't even know him at all anymore. He's just his disease, nothing more."

Embry was sure that's exactly what he'd done. As bad as Bret was, she also failed the marriage, "I'm a cheater now. He's a liar and addict. It's all destroyed."

"Do you regret what happened?"

"No, and that makes me even worse, I guess."

"It makes you human." He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. He kissed her again. "I still love you."

"I love you so much, Embry. I couldn't stop, but..."

"But what?"

"I can't leave him."

"Dammit, Bella. Why not? Then what was all this?"

"I...I just mean. It's not a good time. Anison has surgery next week for her ears. Then it's Connor's birthday at the end of the month. He starts Kindergarten soon after. I have to do these things and keep life as normal as possible. I haven't even confronted Bret that I know he's gambling again. I don't mean I won't leave him, just not right this second."

"So this is you asking me to wait? I guess I deserve that. Karma's a bitch."

Thinking about what he offered overwhelmed her. They had failed the first go around, but when he said he'd changed, she believed him. She could tell just by hearing stories from Rachel and Billy. Spending one evening with him in person, let her know for certain. The life she created with Bret was still a fact. She had to do what was best for her kids.

"I never wanted them to be from a broken home. Do you know how bad I hate that terminology?"

"It's better than the alternative, don't you think?"

She didn't know how to answer him. They were still so young and innocent.

"Fine, if you need a few weeks, tell me what to do, but if you think I'm up for some drawn out affair when you go home to your husband's bed every night, you are out of your mind. I'm still a wolf and you know we're possessive assholes. You let me make you mine again. I don't fucking share."

She told him the truth about her marriage bed. Her body would not be shared. She swore it on their love for one another.

He had other worries. She wanted to confront Bret and let him know she knew he was lying to her again. Embry was restless. He got up from the bed and paced around the room. She insisted just like before, he'd never be violent. He might deny it or be ashamed. She was sure he'd be angry, but that was it. He still wasn't sold on her doing it alone. He suggested she have Charlie over for backup since it seemed like Bret's family was always making up excuses for him.

Her father was going to be like Embry and say, 'enough was enough.' They were right, Bella knew it, but the destruction of a marriage was not as cut and dry as some people made it sound. She meant it. She loved Embry, but her love for Bret didn't disappear completely. He had been exactly what she needed at a certain time in her life. What if he could be truly cured? Did she owe him more chances?

She watched Embry dig out his camera and take some pictures out the window. Something must have caught his eye. She picked up the throw blanket and draped it over her shoulders. Bella opened up the closet to find various clothes wrapped in plastic. She thumbed through the hangers and reminisced.

"I miss this."

He joined her, she felt his large hand on her back. "You do? I always thought you resented it."

"No, well...maybe sometimes, but we had fun. It was nice to pretend in a way."

He reached in and plucked out a garment. "Here...put it on. Let's go out."

"Out? Are you crazy? It's late, like..." she craned her neck to see what the clock said.

"Oh wow, you're right...it's 10:38. That's so late, Bella. Come on, you sound like an old woman." He laughed at her.

She was turning thirty soon, but she kinda felt like an old lady. Seriously, did she do anything but read or watch TV after 10 o'clock? Bella studied the bright blue dress. It was a bit skimpy. She wasn't sure it would fit. It looked form fitting. He raised his eyebrows at her a few times.

"Try it, you'll look hot."

She hesitated, but he pointed her to the bathroom. "Put it on."

* * *

The club had changed quite a bit, but it was still familiar enough. Embry bought her a cosmo and they sat at a little round two-person table.

"What's wrong? I thought you always liked these girly drinks."

She did, but she hadn't had something like that since the kids. She tentatively took a sip. The drink was just right as was the company. She watched Embry take a swallow of his beer. Her mind tried to catch up to what all had occurred in such a short amount of time. Bella looked around several times, to make sure no one was noticing them.

"It's fine. I doubt the people you know hang out here."

"Yes, but have you forgotten, I own a business in this town? Everyone knows I'm married. The Harrington's are a prominent family from the area. I have a reason to be cautious." He encouraged her to finish her drink to loosen up and then he was dragging her out on the dance floor. She giggled at some of the memories. She knew nothing about dancing before he started bringing her there.

Bella had so many huge life decisions to consider, but when Embry ran his hand up her thigh, past the hem of her short dress, she forgot all of them. He took her hand and guided her to a secluded area. Their dance was slow and seductive. His hands moved up and down her sides. She had been denied physical contact for so long and now Embry was giving her more than she could handle. Her legs felt weak, her stomach twitched and turned upside down. He leaned closer so he could whisper in her ear. He told her how sexy she was in the dress, but he couldn't wait to take her back to his place and take it off.

She told herself the club would be the end of evening. She couldn't possibly stay out all night even though the text she'd received earlier said Bret was staying at his parents' house. Of course, that was a lie. She knew that all along.

They didn't even stay gone an hour. The need to be alone became overwhelming. Bella pulled off her shoes so she could walk faster the few blocks back. When they rounded the corner and his apartment was in sight, he lifted her up and carried her the rest of the way.

* * *

The blue dress was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. It was draped across the chair by the window. She smiled at the memory of what happened when they came back inside. He was right, he knew her body so well. Neither the years or the distance had managed to diminish their connection. Bella heard the shower. She rushed out of bed in hopes of joining him. She made it just in time.

Leaving was harder than she thought it would be. He kept holding onto her. He wasn't convinced her plan was the right thing. He begged her to let him bring the guys over. They'd have her moved out in less than two hours. She should go to Charlie's if she wasn't sure about having the kids at his place. Bella asked him to trust her, but he asked the same of her.

No matter what had happened before, there was no one on earth, she trusted more than him. She hoped all her wrongs could eventually be made right.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**It's my plan to update once a week until all the chapters are posted. So, does anyone have an opinion or a prediction or two?**_


	12. Chapter 12:Hypocrisy

Chapter 12: Hypocrisy

She briefly panicked when she saw the SUV in the driveway. Brad was sitting there waiting for her. She was grateful, she ran into the bakery first thing. It made it look like she had really been out and about early running errands. Not at all like she slept over at another man's all night.

He exited his car as soon as she parked.

"Hey Brad, what's up? I wasn't expecting you this early."

"I can't Bella."

"Can't what?"

"Keep lying for my brother. Do you know where he is?"

"Obviously, not with you, like he told me, so I think I have a pretty good idea."

He asked if they could talk inside. She shook her bag in front of him and told him she brought scones. Brad had a seat at the kitchen table while Bella put on a pot of coffee. He had a guilty conscience. He made a few confessions to her.

"He needs help...really intense therapy. I believe he wants to turn it around. Really, we just all need to stand up to him. I've talked to my parents until I'm blue in the face. They didn't want me to come here and start trouble for you two."

Bella admitted trouble started long before and they all knew it. "I can't live like this."

"You shouldn't have to but he loves you. I know he does. Please don't give up. We all want to see the family stay intact. I'm proposing an intervention. They do it for drug addicts and alcoholics. You know it's a similar affliction."

She talked with Bret's brother a good two hours. There wasn't much time to dwell on the fact she'd cheated and had already planned to see Embry again... Monday for lunch. Brad thought they could succeed in helping Bret once and for all if they presented a united front. She wasn't even sure she cared enough anymore, but then Charlie called. He put the kids on to say good morning. Connor asked to speak to his dad. He wanted to tell him about all the tickets he'd won playing games the night before.

"I got a prize and had enough to get something for Annie too."

"That's good, baby. Daddy's not here right now, but you can tell him all about it when you come home."

She talked to her father and asked if he could keep them until dinnertime. He asked if something was up. She was sure he didn't believe her lie that everything was fine, but he said the kids were enjoying their time. Sue was making cookies with them and they were welcome as long as she needed them to stay. Maybe she still did care in regards to her husband, because she owed her kids. She and Bret were probably irrevocably damaged, but if she could help him be a whole person again, it was the least she could do for her children. They deserved the father they started out with.

Brad agreed to stay with her until he returned because he was sensing it wouldn't be pretty as soon as he knew he'd been caught in a lie. He came home after lunch looking like pure hell. She assumed he'd lost money. He probably kept it up all night, hoping he could gain some back. Bella doubted all those cash pay jobs were real jobs at all. He spent a lot of time gambling, so of course, he won sometimes. He just didn't know when to quit.

The brothers got into it first. Brad was relentless, he told him exactly what he thought about his lies. He told Bret he was hurting Bella and his children.

"My kids don't even know."

"It doesn't matter, it affects them. Don't lie to yourself, that it doesn't."

Bret pleaded with her, "Bella, it's not what you think. Whatever he came here to say, don't take his word for it. I'm your husband. Let's talk about it."

She pulled the receipt out of the drawer and let him know Brad hadn't revealed any truth she hadn't already discovered. She knew he never stopped.

"No, you're wrong. I did for a long time. This only happened a few times. It's just... I was desperate to provide for you and the kids. We can't live on your income only and keep up our normal lifestyle. Jobs were hard to come by. I'm still trying." He made a string of invalid arguments on his behalf. He sounded like a rambling man at the end of his rope. She opened the computer and showed him his unfinished resume and all the jobs he was supposed to apply for. He hadn't filled out one application completely. They hadn't been to the marriage counselor all summer. He always canceled on her. She wasn't sure of the last group meeting he attended either.

Bret wasn't in any shape to keep up the fighting while she and Brad ganged up on him. He hadn't slept all evening or eaten any decent food. She finally gave up and told him to take a shower and go to bed. She thanked Brad for helping. He vowed to be there for her any hour of the day, but she knew he had his own family to care for.

* * *

She made an early dinner. At least, the house would appear to be normal by the time the kids arrived. Her father didn't stay but he looked around and she let him know Bret was having a nap. She fed the kids and they asked if they could watch a little TV before bath time, so she put on there favorite, silly cartoon. She cleaned the kitchen and then pulled her phone off the charger. She had shut it off during all the crazy time. Embry had sent her several messages. He was worried, but he missed her. He said it a few times. She looked around. The kids were mesmerized with the television. Bret hadn't come down the stairs but she swore she heard him moving around in their room. She replied quickly and said she was fine and she missed him too.

Maybe ten minutes passed before Bret joined the kids on the couch. He watched the rest of the program with them, laughing and cutting up like everything was perfect. Bella reheated his food and took it to him. She intended to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Come on Momma, sit and watch the rest. You love this one...it's funny and it's almost over." Bret ate his dinner, the kids chattered back and forth about what the characters were doing on the show. She sat there in the midst of it, but her thoughts were somewhere else. She was replaying the previous night's events in her mind and she honestly could hardly wait to be back there.

* * *

The weeks drifted by. Anison did fine through her procedure. She was hardly even grumpy for one afternoon. Bret went to a meeting almost every night. Brad drove him each time and sat in the parking lot to make sure he went in and stayed the whole time. She actually helped fine tune his resume and watched him send out at least twenty job applications. All the birthday party plans had been finalized and life was going on smoothly for anyone that was looking from the outside in. She moved to the guest room permanently the night of the altercation. He said he understood. Sometimes he tried to get back in her good graces, but it never worked. She would not invite him to her bed and she was definitely not going back to the one they used to share.

"I get it. I have to earn back your trust. I'll do it. I swear I will, Bella. Don't give up on us." That was something she heard on a regular basis. Not another soul knew, what was really happening. Bella tried to hold the family together for the sake of the children. She somehow thought getting Connor started with Kindergarten was necessary and then she planned to see a lawyer. Embry had urged her not to put him in the private school the Harringtons were paying for. He wanted her to bring him to the reservation school so he wouldn't have to change once she left the marriage. She was considered a member of the tribe for life because of her marriage to Jacob.

She had mastered the double life in just a few weeks. Bret still thought there was hope for them and it seemed to be working for him. He swore he hadn't gambled since that night. She believed him and truly wanted him to be well, but her feelings had changed. She was in and out of Embry's as much as time would allow. Early mornings on the days she didn't have the kids, private lunches whenever possible and even a few sneaky rendezvous when she visited La Push. They were involved in a full fledged affair. She knew it was morally wrong, but once they started back, she couldn't stop.

Lunches often started out with her letting herself into his loft with the key he provided. She put the bag of food on the bar. He tried to sneak a peak but she didn't have a lot of time or her absence would be discovered. She slapped his hand away. She had gone from learning to let certain parts lie completely dormant to being a sex starved maniac. She couldn't look at him too long without wanting to strip him naked and climb up his body. Embry tapped those previously suspended desires and unleashed them. She literally throbbed for him night and day. It was damn distracting.

"Hey, I'm hungry," he pretended to complain.

"First things first," Bella grabbed at his belt and started to unfasten his pants. They both had other needs that were higher than physical hunger. She dropped to her knees in front of him to find he was already anticipating what was next as soon as he heard the turn of her key. He tried to pull her into the bedroom but she was trying her best to make him a very happy boyfriend. Embry eventually made her stop.

"Bed...I have to be inside you now." She did her own version of growling as he hoisted her up and threw her over his shoulder. They made the most of the time they had left. She couldn't believe how good it was between them. Each subsequent time was even better. How was that possible? She was lucky he worked for himself, and could juggle his schedule to be with her anytime.

"I love you." He told her every time.

She knew it was true and it was the only thing that got her through most days. What he did for her body was damned amazing. What he did for her spirit gave her strength she didn't know she even possessed. Afterwards, she'd spend her last ten minutes quickly feeding food to him before she had to leave again.

His requests were always similar. "Stay longer, come back this afternoon. When can you spend an evening with me?" She did her best, but she worried that her routine already had drastically altered and that someone was sure to notice.

She promised each and every time, "It's not for much longer. I swear it's not forever. I'll be free soon."

Bella often called herself a hypocrite when she looked into the mirror, but every time, she heard from Embry, she hardly cared. She'd run to him whenever the chance presented itself. He swore he wouldn't tell anyone. He reminded her of the old days, when he felt mistrust from the pack. He knew how to protect his thoughts. She was confident that she could make it work a little while longer. In her mind, she thought if she saw Bret through his recovery, then he could remain a constant for the children and that it would be enough to keep him going. He would have to understand that too much had occurred between them and that she couldn't move past it.

She'd created an imaginary world for herself where she was wife, mother, bakery owner, but also Embry's lover. She dreamed all her roles could coexist for as long as she needed them to, but one afternoon reality slapped her hard in the face. Her world was about to crumble.

"Bella, hun...open up. What's wrong? Is it Bret? Please, don't tell me you caught him again." Emily begged for her to come out. She'd been locked in their office restroom for a good thirty minutes. She switched between moments of absolute silence and loud sobbing.

She finally unlocked the door. She had to confess her situation to one person or she would surely explode. Emily stepped inside and saw Bella sitting on the little bench seat they had in there, since they often changed clothes or had a shower after work. Emily's eyes were glued to what she held in her hand. The two women exchanged glances. Emily's head moved slowly side to side in disbelief while Bella's moved up and down as confirmation.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**I'll just sit back and wait to hear all your thoughts.**_


	13. Chapter 13:Consequences

_**~A/N Seems like everyone guessed what Bella had in her hand. This starts the countdown to the last of five chapters. **_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 13: Consequences

"Oh my God... are you serious? Honey, that's the last thing the two of you need in your rocky relationship. No wonder you're crying. How far along are you?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders, because the truth was she hadn't been paying attention to anything about her monthly cycle or her birth control pills. She'd gotten so lax about them because of the stress when Bret's problem first came out. They were rarely ever having sex those first six months after and then it dwindled to absolutely nothing. Birth control was not her first priority, but it should have been lately because she was having a lot of sex again... just not with her husband.

She blurted it out. "It's not Bret's... that's not even possible."

Emily looked absolutely stunned. "I... I don't know what to say. Who's? I mean, do you know? What the hell I'm I saying? Of course, you know. This is you we're talking about. You're having an affair... my little Bella? I can't believe it."

Bella covered her face and wiped away all the tears from her cheeks. She looked up at her long time friend. "Take a guess."

"Oh Bella... it's Embry, isn't it? How long? Since the day at the beach?" They all saw something transpire between them when they met again.

"No, about a month after that. I told you how Bret relapsed. I kept the rest of the truth to myself. It wasn't just that he was gambling again. When I found out, I ran straight to Emb and fell back into his bed. We've been at it ever since. He's waiting for me to leave Bret and I plan to, but it's not that simple."

Emily reminded her she didn't have much time now that she was expecting. "Are you positive it's Embry's and not Bret's... I mean he is your husband." As close as Bella was to Emily, she never told her that her marriage had turned completely sexless.

"Yes, I'm sure. It can only be Embry's. I haven't had sex with Bret in over five months. I know that and he definitely knows that, so a pregnancy only means one thing. Everyone's going to know I'm a lying cheat. You know how his family is. They're so damn proper, what if they try and say I'm unfit and fight me for Connor and Anison?"

Emily said people might think she used bad judgment but that didn't mean she was unfit. She had plenty of ammunition against Bret, so he better not dare start that fight up. Emily told the staff to take care of closing up the shop. She took Bella for a drive and they stopped at a little place they loved for Italian food so they could talk about her dilemma in detail.

"He doesn't know, does he?"

Bella shook her head side to side, "No, he had to go to New York a few days for work."

"You still love him."

"Of course, I do, more than ever."

"So this is a blessing in disguise, maybe."

Bella had thought one day... years off, when they finally had their real second chance, perhaps. She would love to have children with him. The timing was so off, she didn't know what to do next.

"You don't have to keep it, if you're that distraught. You know you have options."

"Yes, Emily... I know, but... "

"You don't have to tell me. I see it in your eyes. You love him and this is so complicated, but deep down, you want to have this baby, don't you?"

Bella admitted she really did, "I'm nuts."

"I know sweetie. We all are. It's those darn wolves. Once you fall for one, you can't ever let go... with or without an imprint. I'll help. Tell me what to do."

Bella asked if she could talk to her brother-in-law and set up a meeting, since he was a family lawyer. She wanted to do it the most efficient and least painful way. Of course, she begged for her to keep it under wraps. She had to tell Embry next and she wasn't about to do it over the phone.

* * *

She managed a weekend at Charlie's after the birthday party. Connor brought along his favorite presents, and they headed off for what was supposed to be the last long weekend before the end of summer. Bret had found a part-time clerical job and it seemed to be legitimate. She'd gone by a few times to take him lunch. She was actually checking up on him, but always pretended otherwise. The job didn't pay much and was only temporary but the boss was already hinting around to finding him a permanent position in another branch if he kept up the good work. Things seemed to be looking up for him.

She had trouble making eye contact with Bret when he bragged how good he was feeling lately. He wanted them to spend more time alone. He advocated date night which used to be their weekly ritual. She'd gone on a few. The marriage counselor actually suggested a weekend getaway and Bret was already searching for a place to go. She had to put a stop to all of it, before he had them packed and headed out of town.

Bella had already given up on them, but she was too much of a coward to admit it just yet. The child that grew inside of her would soon make itself known. It was like an invisible clock followed her around and loudly ticked close to her ear at all times.

Bret had to work all weekend which was good for her. Embry already let her know he'd be in La Push as well. She stayed around Charlie's most of the day Saturday, but went for a drive as soon as she got a text. She met him at the construction site. He'd put a rush on everything. She knew he had high hopes that as soon as the house was done, she'd finally leave Bret and they would truly be together. The house was finally looking like a real house. There wasn't a roof, windows or doors just yet, but all the walls were up. He met her outside and led her up the wooden staircase. He held her steady because there wasn't a railing. He was already very protective and he wasn't aware their was a baby on board, but she was ready to break the news. Once inside the structure, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her breathless.

"I missed you. This is the longest we've been apart since we got back together."

She agreed, she'd missed him terribly. He moved in for another kiss. She halted him and he looked confused.

"What's wrong?"

"Emb... you know I've been trying to juggle so much and I can't..." he voice trailed off as the emotions kicked in.

He stopped her, "No... please, please... don't say you've changed your mind about us. I fucked up everything before, but I've been patient this time. It's not my way, but I'm doing it for us. Please, Bella. I know these decisions can't be easy, but we're meant for each other. Don't stay with him. I'm begging you." He said everything so fast she couldn't get a word in edgewise.

He was about to start up again, so she said it without hesitation, "I'm pregnant."

His mouth hung open, but nothing came out at first. "What?"

"I'm pregnant with our child. I think about six weeks. It's all my fault. I was careless. I don't know how to proceed, but I love you and..." he cut her off by lifting her high and spinning her around. He let a celebratory howl into the air. She guessed he wasn't upset in the least.

"Sorry," he brought her gently back down to the ground. "I didn't shake things up too much, did I?"

"Nope, we're fine."

"We?"

She nodded. "Yep, me and your son or daughter."

Embry's voice was also shaky, "Don't go back... ever. It's not just about his kids anymore, it's my child as well."

"I don't want to, but you know I wanted things to seem normal until Connor was settled."

He was irritated because he thought the best thing was to start Connor at the reservation school.

"All his friends are going to the school in PA."

"Not true, he already knows all the pack kids. He loves La Push. He won't be upset, I'm sure of it. I mean, at least about the school part. I know he has big adjustments in his future, but you're dragging out the inevitable."

"I'm sure he'll be more than a little upset that we are leaving his home and his father. Come on, Emb... I can't do everything so hasty."

"Hasty? Damn woman...we've been screwing around for awhile now. You're pregnant with my child. I don't think you leaving your bum-ass husband is going to seem too drastic to anyone."

"It will be to the kids. They don't know what Bret and I have been through and Connor thinks you're just an old friend. How confusing will it be for him when he hears we are having a baby together? I have to be careful. Bret's family worries me."

"Bret's family can all go to hell, this isn't their business."

Bella didn't want to fight with him, but most of the night was spent arguing back and forth about what the next step should be. He wanted to come out in the open to pack and to their fathers. She wasn't completely sold on that idea. Embry told her she couldn't always control every situation. The baby happened and he was sure it was the push she needed in the right direction. She was supposed to be with him, not Bret and delaying the split was only going to make things worse for all those involved.

"You say you don't have sex with him. How do you intend to explain your immaculate conception? What do you expect me to do... let him go into the delivery room with you and watch you birth this dark-haired, Native American child and keep pretending? This world you've created is cracking right down the middle. Stop pretending!"

She knew he had a right to be upset with her, but Bella felt defensive as well. "First off, there is no 'you say.' I don't and I won't have sex with him. I'm not even going to be with him but maybe a couple more weeks. That's it. I won't be showing yet."

They decided it was best if she got back to her father's. She'd already been gone way too long. They were only going to continue to disagree. She knew he was right. She was the one with so many issues that needed to be sorted out.

She trusted Embry to tell the pack and Billy what he wanted. None of them would rat her out, but she might start getting a steady stream of pushy advice. They were all going to be on his side. Bella decided it was best to sit down with her father late that night when the kids went to bed. It was hard to find the words. Part of her was ashamed, but it was somewhat of a relief to tell him everything. He didn't speak up at first, but he reached across the table and held her hand.

"I've gotten to know Embry better over the years. He takes real good care of Billy."

"I know."

"I thought a lot of negative things before, but his heart reminds me of his brother's. I'm sure you saw that before the rest of us."

"I did."

"God knows they both loved you to a fault. I thought the world of Bret in the beginning, but you know how I see it now. You will never be able to trust him."

"And he'll never be able to trust me."

Charlie agreed with Embry like she knew he would. Why didn't she stop the sham once and for all? He said, the longer she waited, the greater the chance the news of the pregnancy would get out. He believed the Harringtons were going to cause a fuss no matter what. They were all about appearances. Bella had a lot weighing on her mind, but she managed to get some rest. She got up when she heard the kids awake. They were all having breakfast when there was a knock at the door. Honestly, she was expecting Embry, since he knew she was confessing things to Charlie the night before. When Sue opened the door to reveal her husband standing there, her heart sank to the floor. Connor and Anison ran to him. He had an overnight bag on his shoulder.

"Surprise, I got the day off after all. What do you guys want to do today?"

* * *

Before she knew it, she was packing up for a day at the beach as a family. It felt completely foreign calling them that anymore, but technically they still were.

Bella sent out a quick text to let Embry know her predicament so he'd know to stay away. Embry's silence was deafening. He didn't respond, she knew he was pissed as hell. What else could she do? He knew it was going to be strange until she finally got the courage to leave.

Sue also had a little advice. She told her to stop trying to fix Bret. He had to fix himself.

Watching him with the kids made her question so many of her choices. He was a good father and he seemed to be trying harder than ever. Who was the home-wrecker now... Bret or her?

_**~Thanks so much for reading. **_

_**Can this possibly get any messier? Tonyamic10 says, "Yes, of course it can. Have you read my stories?"**_


	14. Chapter 14:Hazards of Lying

Chapter 14: Hazards of Lying

Embry couldn't stay away. She wanted to scream when she saw him show up with Paul and Sam and all the kids. Of course, Connor ran over and greeted them. Bret had met everyone except Embry. The stares started from the get go. She wished she could start digging a deep hole with the kids' toys and bury herself in it. Figuratively, she'd already done something similar, but literally it sounded great right about the moment she witnessed a glare from Bret pointed towards Embry.

Bret had a seat next to her on the towels they spread out. She was already feeling less than great out in the hot sun. The stress was causing her stomach to revolt or it might be the pregnancy hormones taking effect.

_Oh yeah, by the way, Bret. I'm pregnant. Of course it's not yours, since you quit touching me long ago. There's the father, he's over there. He's my soulmate, not you. _It was an odd statement that came to her, but she kept it to herself.

He didn't hesitate wrapping his arm around her. Of course, they barely ever even hugged, but he was staking his claim. He knew damn well, it was Embry. He'd seen some old pictures from the early days when she was married to Jacob. If he had any sort of doubt, Connor had said his name a half dozen times out loud since he never forgot him from the beginning of summer.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"What? Why would we leave? Connor's friends," he paused and looked back at the group, "your friends too... right, just got here. Plus, we haven't even been out an hour yet. Strange how you never told me my son got to be buddies with your ex."

The first accusation. She could tell by his tone. "Um, they're not buddies exactly. Connor tossed a ball with him a few times when my dad was taking a rest back at the beginning of the summer."

"And you forgot to mention it?"

"No, it wasn't a big deal."

"I thought the two of you steered clear of each other."

"We did... um, I mean... we do. He showed up. This is a public beach."

Bella wished some of the ladies had come but Rachel and Emily were absent. She asked for something to drink to change the subject. Bret reached in the cooler and pulled out a couple of ice cold beers.

"Um, could you just grab me a water instead?"

"Sure, sorry. I thought you might need one. You seem tense."

She brushed it off as not sleeping well in a strange bed and being hot. He was acting weird. She was acting weird and then there was Embry. He kept staring. It was so obvious and Bella felt so awkward. Her life was a complete train wreck and none of the spectators could avert their eyes.

* * *

She survived the beach. Bret didn't leave her side the entire time. They got cleaned up and all went out to a local seafood place. She was overwhelmed by the scents in the restaurant and barely made it to the restroom to heave her stomach contents. Sue came in and checked on her. She said Bret seemed worried. He probably thought she got overheated, but he knew she wasn't much of a fish girl either. If he knew the real reason behind her queasiness, he'd quickly lose all sympathy.

"Bella, dear... you have to tell him. This is painful to watch, for both of you."

She knew what Sue was observing. Bret was trying so hard, it was uncomfortable. She was basically void of all emotion and didn't even know how to respond to him.

They hadn't slept in the same bed for weeks, but they all crammed in the guest room. Anison usually slept with her when they visited, but Bret got her to sleep with her brother on the wall side. Bella had received a text when her husband was in the bathroom.

**Nice family you got there...**

**So damned cozy. I felt the sweetness through the air.**

She wanted to send a reply but heard Bret's footsteps approach. She switched her phone off and sat it in the bedside table drawer. Bret climbed under the covers and Bella asked if she should grab Annie and put her in the middle.

"Why? She's fine there. We're like five feet away."

"Yeah, you're right." She rolled away from him, hoping they'd both fall asleep and not say anything else to each other. He had other ideas. She felt his hand on her shirt and then her skin. He started rubbing her back.

"You still feeling bad?"

"A little. I'm really tired."

She felt him scoot a little closer. "Bella, I'm sorry. You know I'm sorry for everything. Can't you tell I'm trying?" She told him that she did, but he made a frustrated noise. "Can you please turn over, so I'm not talking to the back of your head."

Bella was honestly afraid to face her own husband. She wasn't scared of him by any means, but afraid of what he might see in her eyes. She might even worry about what he didn't see there. She had justified her actions many times in her mind. He started it. He was the first liar and deceiver, but did he deserve what she was doing to him? She rolled towards him and they ended up face to face. His hand moved up towards her face.

"I kept pushing you away. It was my guilt, not that I didn't want you. I still do. You're so beautiful. I'm so lucky you're still here despite all my failures."

"Bret, I..."

He moved a little closer. They were sharing the same air. Part of her wanted to jump up and scream that she couldn't, she was not his anymore. However, the familiarity put her somewhat at ease and she remained perfectly still.

"I know, you don't have to say it. It's obvious, you didn't stay for me, you stayed for them, but we can turn this around. Please, Bella... try with me. I love you. Do you love me, despite my faults?"

She felt a lump form in her throat. How could she answer that question? She did... how or why she did not know, but she still felt love for him. He didn't wait for her answer. He pressed his mouth against hers and pulled her closer. At least, he didn't try for anything else. Bella wouldn't be able to go through with that, but she rested her head against his chest as he stroked his fingers through her hair. Her heart was divided, but it was not in equal parts. She imagined it was ripped apart in jagged shards, but the only truth she knew without a doubt was Embry would always possess the largest chunk.

* * *

It was almost a week before she saw him. It was not a normal meeting. They weren't eager to ravish each other. In fact, he didn't even kiss her.

"How's your husband?"

"I'm not here to talk about that day at the beach. I was completely taken off guard by his appearance. You came for the sole purpose of causing me discomfort."

"Too bad. Then why are you here?"

"Emb, school's in less than two weeks. I have an appointment with a lawyer next week. I'm only asking for a little more time."

"For now until you come up with a new excuse. How does my child fit into all your convoluted plans?"

"I'm taking care of myself, of course. I have a check up scheduled with my doctor as well. I love our child. My children are my entire focus... all of them. I know you're mad. The situation sucks, I get that. I'm trying to do what's best for all of us."

"I don't trust Bret."

"He's trying."

"No, I watched him. He's faking. Trust my damn instincts for once. You know we can sense things regular people can't. He's saying everything you want to hear... that's all."

"I know why you wouldn't trust him, but believe me, his brother is sticking to him like glue and he hasn't slipped up."

Arguing with Embry didn't help anything. Bella knew her husband better than anyone. She was sticking to her plan. He was leery and she understood why, but one day soon, she'd make it up to him. She told him she had to get back to work, but he stopped her at the door.

Embry blocked her from leaving. He pulled her close and finally gave her the kiss she truly desired. She needed to feel that connection to him. It was the only thing that made sense in her life.

He apologized for the way things had been between them and told her he loved her. "Bella, keep your phone close to you at all times. I think when he finally figures it out, he's not going to let go so easily. Call me or one of the guys. We'll come get you and the kids."

She promised she'd be fine and that she meant it when she said, she was his. Soon, she'd be only his.

* * *

She was headed back to work just like she said, but right before she got there, his words replayed through her mind. Bret had fooled her before. Was she allowing her own guilt to consume her so much that she was being duped?

She pulled over and called Emily to let her know she had to take care of some personal problems and wouldn't be coming back.

"You feeling okay, hun?"

"No, not great, but I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"

She tried to get Bret's parents on the phone to ask if the kids could stay longer, maybe all night but they didn't pick up. She knew they'd drop them off at five or Bret would pick them up earlier. He was supposed to get off at three since he went in extra early that morning. She had less than two hours. She honestly had no idea what she intended to do when she got home, but she knew she needed to be left alone to figure it all out.

Bella rushed inside. She opened up her laptop and pulled up the banking site. She checked and re-checked that again. It was completely normal, no cash withdrawals, charges out of town or anything off in both the checking and savings accounts. She saw Bret's new job deposits. He was really working and the money was going into their bank.

The fact was, she was the only one making charges. That was it... that was the anomaly. Bret drove his own vehicle. He had to get gas. She didn't pack his lunch everyday. Wasn't he eating out occasionally? She never told him not to use the debit card. That would've been unreasonable. She remembered back to the dinner out. He paid cash. Charlie offered first, but Bret pulled out his wallet and paid for everyone. How? His checks direct deposited, so he wasn't taking cash out of them.

She closed the computer and went on the hunt for anything, something that would help her make sense of it. For some reason, she thought merely asking him wasn't good enough. He might already have an excuse prepared. She wanted the proof in her hands. Bella left no stone unturned. She poured through every drawer in the whole house. She even looked in the kids' rooms. She dumped his clothes drawers and came up with nothing. The only piece of paper she found was a love note she wrote to him. He'd written back to her and they kept it going for weeks. It was before they got married. He'd saved it all those years. She started to read it, but it was from a different era. She couldn't finish, so she carefully folded it back up and replaced everything just as it had been.

She saw herself in the mirror. She looked like a crazy person. There she was tossing clothes and possessions all over the place. It was like she was burglarizing her own house. She was trying to catch her husband in another lie... all the while she grew another man's child in her belly. Embry was right. What the hell was she clinging to that old life for? She would be mortified for her children to see her in such a way. It would've scared them. Staying together was not in their best interest if it was going to continue to transform her into someone she couldn't even recognize. She held her phone in her hands. She had less than hour left alone. She should make the call and put a stop to it, once and for all.

Bret's shoe stuck out from the bed. She kicked it out of the way. She noticed it was caked with mud. It wasn't a normal mud, it was extremely black. Where had he walked in those shoes? He worked in town, no longer doing outdoor jobs. An event the week before flickered through her mind. He came inside with a shoebox. She asked what he'd bought and he said he needed work shoes, his old ones were shot. She remembered seeing the shoebox when she was digging through all his pants' pockets in the closet. Bella went back in the closet and pulled out the box.

She opened it. There were no shoes inside the box. The box wasn't even new. It was the box his old, muddy ones came in. The brand name was the same. The box contained lots of papers and documents. He had another bank account she didn't know about. He also had a couple of credit cards. Who would give him credit? She quickly realized everything wasn't even in his name. Had he faked his identity before? It seemed so. The charges were indisputable. He was gambling again. Sometimes, he won but he lost almost as much. She hoped her name wasn't linked to anything. That was the last headache she needed... a bunch of creditors after her as well. Bella dug all the way to the bottom of the box before she found her name on anything.

She felt sick, panic and disgust. What was he up to? It was an application for a loan and if she read it correctly, he was putting up her bakery as collateral. How could he attempt something like that? It wouldn't work, she'd never sigh such a thing, but her signature was indeed on the bottom line and so was Emily Uley's. They were perfect copies, he'd forged them like an expert. Bret was an absolute con-artist and she was his greatest mark. She'd wasted so much time trying to help him, hold him together so he could be complete. She wanted him to still be in their children's lives. After seeing what she'd discovered, she didn't care if a judge revoked his parental rights. Bella didn't want someone like him anywhere near her children.

She needed to go and not hesitate. The front door startled her. She heard Bret yell for her. She also heard the unmistakable sound of their two children arguing about something. She really didn't want them to be there for the ugly confrontation that was sure to come.

"No, stop... Con... don't. Give it back."

"I don't have her doll, Daddy. She left it at Grandma's."

Bret called her name again. "Bella, a little help please. Why are you home so early?"

Bella appeared at the top of the stairs. He had both kids, one under each arm. They were laughing and giggling at how he halted their dispute. Bret stared at her, and she got a sick feeling. He might be acting silly with the kids, but his eyes appeared glazed over. He wasn't himself. It was written all over his face. She stared back... he knew that she knew.

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

**_Are you still with me? I'm making some people mad or frustrated, but this is how I saw it. Hit me back with your thoughts._**


	15. Chapter 15:Volition

_**~A/N Are you all still with me? **_

_**Chapter warning: Mature themes and violence.**_

Chapter 15: Intervention

He carried the kids up the stairs and told them to go play. He followed her into their room. She'd acted fast when she heard him earlier so she crammed all the papers back in the shoebox and returned it to it's resting place on the closet floor. He told her she didn't look so great.

"Is that why you left work early? You sick again?"

As soon as she was face to face with him, and he reminded her of all her nausea, she was overcome yet again. She ran past him and barfed in the toilet. He stood in the doorway and observed her. Maybe, years with the pack had taught her a few things about instinct but Bella knew he was off from the moment he walked through the front door. She needed to grab her phone, get the kids to the car and leave. She had been such an idiot for the past eighteen months. Her father told her, so did her friends. Embry never shut up about it since they reunited.

She took a deep breath and went to the sink to wash her face and brush her teeth. _Calm down, Bella, this is Bret_...he might be unstable with his money because of gambling, but she was right about one fact. He wasn't dangerous or violent.

She heard him open the door of the linen closet that was in their bathroom. Maybe he was getting her a face towel or a washcloth. She said, "No thanks, this one's clean. I just changed it last night."

She was shocked to see he held a box of tampons in his hands. "Sure you don't need these?"

"Um... no, not right now." In all the years of their marriage, he had never handed her feminine supplies to her. It was the oddest thing that had ever transpired between them. She took the box from his hands and returned them to the shelf and shut the door. She was staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as he stepped in behind her. Her stomach twisted again, but luckily there was nothing else left or she would've definitely gotten sick again. He was also staring back at her through the mirror. It was true she knew all about Bret and his lies, but she wasn't the only one. He knew all about hers as well.

"You haven't had a period in a long time. I thought your pills kept it regular."

"I...I," she stuttered because she had no idea how to respond nor did she believe he ever paid attention to that sort of thing. He walked into the bedroom and opened up one of her drawers. He pulled them out. She stuffed the pills in there for some unknown reason weeks before when she realized how badly she'd goofed. Obviously, she wasn't taking them any longer.

"You quit your pills." He plainly stated, already knowing it was a fact. She wasn't the only one that had ruffled through the drawers in the bedroom.

She snapped at him. "We don't have sex."

He nodded. "Yep, I'm aware of that and it fucking sucks, but I thought maybe we were on the verge of changing that after last weekend. Let me rephrase what you said, because one of us is having lots of sex, isn't that right?"

"Bret... I'm leaving. I'm not having this discussion with you." She didn't have a clue when he figured it out, but she wanted to get her children and get out of there.

He stepped in her way. "That's it? No, 'I'm sorry Bret. Sorry that I've been fucking around and got myself knocked up by another man. So sorry, honey because I know how you've been taking your recovery so seriously... doing everything possible to keep your family intact.'"

She made an uncomfortable chuckle, even though there was absolutely nothing funny being said. "You made your point, Bret. Fine... I'm a cheat, and for that I am truly sorry. I know it was wrong, but you're so much worse. This family hasn't been intact for a long time because you tore it to shreds." She moved past him towards the closet. She brought out the box and wildly dumped it all over the bed and surrounding floor. "You miserable son of a bitch. You're a thief. I already have a lawyer. You won't be getting a dime from my bakery. You need serious help, not fake help like you've been claiming to receive. Maybe, one day if you can prove you're cured, I'll let you see the kids again." She was going for her phone, but he grabbed her wrist. He picked up the phone. He acted like he was going to use it, but she'd changed her password.

He punched in her old code which was their anniversary, but it didn't work. "Clever and dumb. It was the first clue. You changed the passcode and that's what first alerted me. The rest was easy. You didn't even try to hide going to his apartment in the middle of the day. I followed you several times."

"You destroyed the marriage before I ever went back to Embry."

Bret held her wrist tightly and told her to sit down. She refused and asked for her phone back. He shoved it in his front pocket and reached around behind his back with his other hand. She couldn't believe what he flashed in front of her eyes. He had a shiny revolver in his grip. She knew it was Brad's because he was an avid gun collector. She remembered it since his wife freaked out about how expensive it was. She said he was lucky she didn't shoot him with it, but he swore it was the last one he was buying for a long time.

"I said... sit down!" She did immediately. "All that shit you just said... that's not happening. We're going to do what I say from now on. We're going to fix this... us, our marriage... all of it. You will not be taking my kids from me ever. Are we clear?" he shouted.

She didn't make a sound, but Connor ran into their room. "Daddy, what's wrong?"

Bret concealed the gun from his son's eyes, but said nothing for a few minutes. He finally spoke up, "Mommy and I are talking about our day."

"I'm hungry."

"Me too, son. How about that Bella? We're hungry. What special dinner you going to make the family tonight?"

"Um, Connor, sweetie... go check on Annie and I'll get something going real soon, okay?" He seemed satisfied with that explanation.

"Bret, please put that gun away. The children are here. I'll listen. We'll talk about whatever you want, just don't take the gun out again. Please."

He put it behind his back again. It wasn't what she was asking for, but at least it was out of his hand and out of sight. Of course, she knew it was there and there was no turning back from what was unfolding in front of her.

"You heard our boy. Will you make us dinner?"

"Of course, I shopped yesterday. Any requests?"

"Make that chicken and mushroom thing you serve over the pasta. Can you make that?" She nodded. He was on her heels every step until she reached the kitchen. She went to the sink to wash her hands and she asked him for the large pot. He put it under that water. The pan started to fill up. Bella's eyes were also filling with the tears she couldn't hold back any longer. His arm wrapped around her waist. He leaned over and kissed her neck like he'd done countless times, but it didn't feel the same in the least. It felt horrific.

He whispered to her. "I knew we'd be fine. As soon as you get rid of this half-breed, everything will go back to normal. I swear it... I swear on those kids' lives." When he said 'kids,' she felt the worst kind of dread.

She just had to get through the evening. That was all. He couldn't keep them locked up in the house permanently. He wouldn't hurt the kids. He was having some sort of mental break but she was confident he still could be reasoned with. She vowed to keep him happy and calm for the night. That's all she had to do. Bella did her best to cook, he only stepped away long enough to check that all the windows and doors were secure.

He complimented her how great it smelled. He was almost acting normal again, but her phone buzzed from his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it.

"I think your lover's trying to reach you. That's a real bummer, babe. I'd almost forgotten but he's going to keep reminding us, isn't he?"

"Here, let me answer. I can tell him to leave us alone, that I don't ever want to see him again."

He laughed. "Yeah right. I'm not that dumb." She was so worried he might break it and then her last chance would no longer exist. He didn't even appear to have his phone with him and they'd long since disconnected the house phone. Instead, Bret took off the battery, shoved it back in his pocket and sat the phone on the counter. He dug through the fridge and pulled out the only bottle of wine they had.

The kids came downstairs about that time. Bella tried to remain calm for their sakes. She started serving everyone. Connor complained about the salad she gave him, but she said no garlic bread if he didn't eat some. He agreed but asked how many bites. She said all of it since she gave him a small portion. It was a typical family dinner except they were secretly being held there at gunpoint.

Bret poured them both full glasses of wine. She shook her head side to side. He told her to drink it. "Bret, please..."

"Fine, suit yourself, it won't matter in the end anyway."

Bella wiped another tear away before her kids noticed. What if they all died? She kept trying to say Bret wasn't a violent man, but he'd waved a gun in front of her and wouldn't let her leave. He insinuated he desired to force her into an abortion.

Her thoughts kept returning to Embry. Would he truly know how much she loved him? She wasn't going to go down without a fight, but unless someone came to the rescue... the odds were not in her favor. Embry warned her and she didn't listen. If she ever needed divine intervention, she needed it now.

He stuck to her like glue. They cleaned the kitchen together. They all four crowded in the kids' small bathroom to help with baths. He read to them like nothing was wrong. The kids cuddled together with their father was the most heartbreaking scene of the night in her opinion.

He even stood outside the door while she peed. She told him she was going to take a shower. He actually came inside the bathroom with her. She was worried he was going to get in as well. She didn't think she could handle such a thing.

He ended up drinking all the wine, so she was hopeful he would soon get sleepy. It would be her only hope. There was no way he was allowing her to go to the guest room. She didn't even attempt it. They climbed in bed together just after 10pm. She heard his jeans hit the floor before he got in. She was sure her phone battery still rested inside his pocket. Her dilemma was huge. She wasn't willing to risk going after the phone downstairs in case he woke up. He'd be alone upstairs with the children if she did that.

Bella thought about it hard the entire time they washed dishes. Perhaps she could go for the battery, and if he didn't wake up, then she could gather the kids. She wasn't sure she could still lift them together at the same time, but hopefully the adrenaline would give her a boost. She could grab the phone on the way out and make a run for the car. Shit, she didn't remember seeing her keys on the counter where she left them. What if he hid them?

Bret wasn't going to sleep like she'd hoped. He almost immediately started groping her. He said disturbing things in her ear. It was obvious he wanted to have sex. It had been a long time for them. She would do anything to keep him calm, but it was going to be awful. He ended up taking all her clothes off. The gun was on his nightstand. She saw him put it there. Did she even have the guts to attempt that? If she got on top, maybe he would be distracted enough. God, what was she thinking? She couldn't pull a gun on him. He wasn't a standard rapist, but if he made her have sex under such duress, what was the reality of his actions? Bret kept trying to be loving and affectionate. He wasn't being mean or aggressive, but it was so gross and disgusting. She could hardly stand his hands on her. He had made it as far as settling between her legs, but he stopped.

"I just can't... not while that reminder exists that you are indeed a whore. I hate to think that about my good, sweet Bella fucking another man. How else am I to describe you? "

She breathed out a huge sigh of relief even though he still hovered over her, "I'm so sorry, Bret. You don't deserve this."

He rolled off and laid on his back. She saw him slip his briefs back on. He handed her clothes to her and she quickly dressed under the sheets. "You're damn right, I don't. I'm a good man and you were lucky to have me after your other husband's brother used you and tossed you out like a piece of garbage. Why would you go back to that? Where's your self-respect?"

The less she spoke of Embry, the better. She kept trying to appease him and seem remorseful. He started to slur his speech a little more and she was convinced he was becoming drowsy. Bella waited until his breathing became regular. He eventually stopped talking. She worked at her goal in stages. She moved out of his hold at first. He mumbled but didn't grab her again. She slipped to the edge of the bed and he remained still. She slid off the bed and carefully crawled to the other side. She dug through his pocket. She found the battery and slipped it into the tiny pocket on the back of her sleep shorts. She never understood why it had a pocket but she was grateful it did. Bella saw the gun. She wanted to grab it, but as soon as her hand tried to lift it, he started to stir and move in the bed. She panicked, left the gun and ran into Connor's room first. She hoisted him up on her right side then she entered Anison's room and grabbed her with her left arm. She passed by their room and he didn't appear to be up, so she ran towards the stairs. She made it to the kitchen and sure enough her keys were missing. She took the kids to the sofa and decided to try for the phone instead. She snapped the battery on and waited for the phone to restart. Bella couldn't hold back her scream when she felt the pistol in her side pointing so close to where her unborn child dwelt.

He snatched the phone. Connor woke up confused. "Daddy, what's wrong? Why are we all downstairs? Mommy, are you crying?"

"Go back to bed, Connor. Your mom's just sick, I'm taking care of her."

Connor stood up, Bella saw his eyes glued to the gun in his father's hands. He was no longer concealing it from their child's eyes.

"Stay with Annie on the couch, honey. It's okay. Everything's fine. I'm sorry we woke you." Bella tried to maintain some of her composure.

Without warning, a car door slammed outside. Who had come by? Bella didn't want to scare the kids but she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Help us! Please, he has a gun."

Bret wrapped his hand around her mouth. "Shut up. I can't believe you just did that. You killed them Bella. Do you understand? You killed your own children." He actually pointed the gun towards the couch where they were. Annie was crying by then and her brother tried to console her.

"Bella!" she heard her name outside the door. Was it possible they were saved?

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

_**Big cliffie. Got to know what's on your minds... surprised or expecting something like this?**_


	16. Chapter 16:Life or Death

_**Another chapter warning: It's not an easy one.**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

Chapter 16: Life or Death

It was him. How did Embry know to come for them? He was the one at the door even though she never got the chance to call. She heard other voices. He'd brought back up. Hopefully, he also called the police.

"Embry!"

It all happened so fast. The door was kicked in. Bella saw Paul and Seth standing with Embry. She screamed for them to get the kids out first. Paul grabbed Connor and Seth picked up a hysterical Anison. They backed up through the room, the entryway and then out the door. Bret had a firm hand on her. He kept the gun pressed into her side. Embry held his hands out in surrender.

"Come on, man... you don't want to do this."

Every few seconds he backed them up the stairs. She knew Embry was quick enough and strong enough to take him out but he was being cautious. The gun could go off in an instant. They all knew his finger was already on the trigger. Bret had just watched his children removed from their house. There were witnesses now. He had to know he'd never see Connor or Anison again. He despised that Bella was carrying Embry's baby. What better revenge than to kill them both in front of him. Neither man was backing down and she was caught in between. A few times he pulled the gun off her and pointed it at Embry. Bella didn't know what would happen. Jacob was proof wolves could sustain a mortal injury.

He stayed calm the whole time as he continued to try and talk some sense into Bret.

Bret was no longer rational in any way, shape or form. He said he couldn't have his family. They were his. "You gave her up. You said you weren't good enough and you're not. Why'd you come back to try and ruin us?"

"I'm sorry. You're right. I'm not good enough for Bella. You really love her, don't you? I know you don't want to hurt her. Why don't you let her go and I'll stick around and you can take out your frustrations on me."

Bella knew what he was doing, but she was so worried about what could happen in such a volatile situation. "Bret... let me go check on the kids... please, I'm begging you. They must be so frightened."

"We were supposed to have more children together. Remember, Bella? We said so when Anison was born. I only wanted us to get ahead and have a cushy nest egg. It just got out of hand."

"I know... I understand, Bret." He loosened up his grip. She tried to turn so he could see the sincerity in her eyes. She really only wanted to help him. She didn't want anyone hurt. He was crying.

His pain was more than he could stand. "I'm sorry."

"I know. I forgive you. It's okay... you're going to be okay. Lots of people love you, Bret."

"Even you? Could you still love me after what I've done?"

She knew Embry was watching them like a hawk waiting on a chance to get her to safety. She nodded her head. "Of course, I'll always love you. You're my husband."

He pulled her tight into his side again, but didn't hold the gun against her. "I love you, Bella." He kissed the side of her head. His arms squeezed her tightly before he pushed her away and released her. Embry reached out and grabbed her. He shielded her with his body and yelled for her to go.

She ran back down the stairs and out of the open door into Seth's arms. He pulled her to the car where Paul and Rachel had the kids. Annie had miraculously fallen back to sleep. Hopefully, it would only seem like a dream. Paul had distracted Connor talking about sports. As soon as he was in his mother's arms he asked where his father was.

"He'll be out in a minute, honey." She looked at the guys. Seth spoke softly, he told her Charlie had recently heard about an impending arrest from a buddy in Port Angeles. He'd been trying to reach her. Embry and Emily had also. As the night went on and no one could get through, they decided to come and check for themselves. Charlie wanted them to wait until he could get there with his guys, but Embry wouldn't wait another second. She interrupted Seth.

"We have to go back in and help."

"No _we_... not you," Paul added, but he and Seth got out of the car and left the women and kids. They climbed the porch just as flashing lights illuminated her entire front lawn. Bella told Connor to stay with Aunt Rachel. She was running for her father when the shot rang out.

"NOOOOOO!" Bella screamed her throat raw with that one word. She turned and ran towards the door of her home. Paul grabbed her up in one arm. A whole group of officers pulled them back with guns drawn. She was screaming hysterically for Embry. Did Bret take his frustrations out on him? "Please God... NO, EMBRY!" Bella continued to scream, no one emerged from the house immediately. The officers were going to enter the house, but Charlie told the guys to take her back to the car.

She couldn't believe it when they all saw Embry slowly descending the stairs. He held his hands up to the police. He didn't have the gun. Charlie convinced them it wasn't the perpetrator, so they let him come out to the porch.

Bella could see blood splattered all over him. "You're hurt. You're bleeding."

"Bella, it's not me. I'm okay." Embry exchanged a look with Charlie.

She wasn't sure what it meant. "Bret!" She yelled his name when she knew Embry was safe.

"Bella..." Embry was trying to soothe her.

She was overwhelmed with the need to go inside and see that he was okay as well. Charlie held her arm, "No, Bells."

"But what happened? Where's Bret? Did you take the gun from him?"

Embry pulled her against his chest. He was taking deep calming breaths. She could feel him shaking. She just wanted someone to tell her what was going on, but they were all keeping something from her.

A couple of deputies went inside, but soon came back out. Charlie was mumbling back and forth with them. More sirens and more emergency people arrived.

"Are you and the kids hurt? I see an ambulance. Let's get you checked out." She shook her head no.

"What happened?"

"I'm so sorry Bella. You've been through so much. I hate to have to tell you. I planned to get the gun away and restrain him since I knew Charlie was on the way, but he'd already planned it. He never hesitated. Honey, Bret shot himself right in front of me."

No one seemed urgent about getting to him. The ambulance was there, where were the EMT's? Maybe he was still breathing and needed emergency medical treatment.

She voiced all her concerns but Embry shook his head. "No, it's too late. Trust me. I was right there."

She wanted to see for herself, but he held her tight against his body. She was hysterical but at least Rachel and Paul had already driven away with the kids, so they didn't have to see all the chaos. "I need to see him."

"No, baby. You don't. I know this night must have been hell for you, but try and remember the good times you shared with him. He was sick. It wasn't your fault. You hadn't had a chance to hear it all but his work was filing charges for theft, embezzlement, and fraud. He knew they were going to arrest him."

She couldn't stand up any longer, her legs gave out on her. She started to collapse and Embry lifted her up like she was a small child. He carried her to the ambulance. The paramedics checked her out. She had a few scratches and bruises. They gave her a couple of bottles of water and advised her to take it easy and to follow up with a doctor in the morning. She needed sleep more than anything. Charlie came out with her keys. He found the extra set hanging in the garage. The officer in charge said the statements could wait. They all knew Charlie, so they agreed to bend the rules a bit for his family.

* * *

Seth drove. She and Embry clung to each other in the backseat. They started driving away from her home... her past life. She told him she couldn't go to Embry's. She had to go to Rachel's where her children were. Seth said that's exactly where he planned on going. He looked in the rearview mirror and Embry confirmed he wasn't leaving her side.

The days ahead would be dark. There was still so much to deal with. She had to be strong for her kids. They would be devastated by the loss of their father, especially Connor. His father was his hero, and somehow, she needed to keep that memory intact for their son.

One thing was a mystery to her, "How'd you know to come?"

"Jake."

"What?" he voice cracked.

Embry said he was emotionally drained after seeing her and he rested his head against the back of the couch. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep. He hadn't slept much all week, so he was exhausted. Sometime during his long nap which was turning into a full night's sleep, the dreams started. He saw bits and pieces of times he had with his brother. Some conversations replayed through his memories. "The pack had all sworn to protect you. You know that. The dream didn't make much sense until something that never really happened occurred." His memory of Jacob grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said 'She needs you... now. Never let her go.'

"I woke up after that and for once in over a decade, I felt chilled to the bone."

Embry called her first, but there was no answer. He called Emily next, but her explanation didn't make sense. "You said you had to go back to work. You never hinted that wasn't where you were headed. I tried Charlie next. At first I couldn't get through to him. It was getting late. By the time he answered, we all started comparing our last conversations with you. Charlie got the confirmation about the arrest. I started recalling the dream and Jacob's words. We knew without a doubt you and the children were in danger."

Bella remembered her thoughts about divine intervention and it had come true. They couldn't have been a second later or who knows what the outcome would've been. She couldn't wrap her mind about what Bret had done to himself, but what he said about killing the children was the hardest thing she heard during the ordeal. He wanted them to all stay a family. In his mind, if they all died in that house, then they were still together.

Bella wasn't crying any longer. She felt numb. Embry kept her securely tucked into his side. She always tried to do the right thing, but had made a mess of so many things. There wasn't a point to focus on all her mistakes. She made plenty. Embry had also been so flawed when she was first with him. Could two people that almost broke each other find complete healing and fuse themselves back together?

The harsh reality was Bella was a widow again, but she wasn't alone, just like the first time... Embry was there for her. He continued to hug her tight and whisper encouragement and love to her. He kept saying over and over they were going to get through it.

"I love you. I'm never letting you go." His lips held a kiss against her forehead and she found his hand to hold. Their fingers intertwined.

Despite all her pain and turmoil, she believed him.

_**~Thanks for reading. **_

_**Epilogue will finish this one whenever you are ready.**_


	17. Chapter 17:Epilogue-Family

_**~A/N A little change for this last post. It's Embry's POV and mostly fluff.**_

_**Song inspiration: **_Céline Dion's "Because You Loved Me"

_**Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**_

**Epilogue: Family**

"Daddy, is today a good day?"

"For what, Annie?"

"For kites? You said when it was a good day, we'd go to the beach."

Embry looked out at the beach from their overlook and up towards the sky. It was a the perfect day for flying a kite. He went inside to ask his wife if she wanted to join them.

"Sure, but Kody is still napping. As soon as he gets up, we'll all go down. I'll make some food and we'll make an afternoon of it."

Embry came up behind Bella while she was chopping fruit for the kids' snacks. Connor and Anison were busy in the garage digging out various toys they wanted to carry to the beach.

He snaked an arm around her and kissed her at the base of her neck. "Umm, it's going to be difficult keeping the wolf at bay all day. You smell delicious."

Bella pretended like she wanted to get away but she gave in easily and turned around to meet his hungry mouth for a few stolen kisses.

"I tell you maybe I'm considering trying for another one now that Takoda is two and you can't stop talking about it. I'm still not sure. We have our hands full with three under seven."

He held up her hands, then his beside them."We have four hands between us, I'd say there's definitely room for one more."

Embry had a ready made family tossed in his lap that fateful night. Bret's descent into madness and violent ending had taken them by surprise. Bella was in a bad place for a while. She was riddled with guilt and plagued with what ifs.

He was patient with her while she went through the stages. She lived with Charlie and Sue for many months. The kids were resilient. She did her best to explain how their father had gotten sick. They wished he could have been helped but no one realized how bad he had gotten. Connor struggled with the memories, Anison was far too young to get it. Bella took them both to a pediatric therapist who specialized in traumatic events.

She waited as long as possible before talking to them about the baby brother that was on the way. They adjusted to the news easier than Bella thought they would. Embry had been a constant, he was over everyday helping her out as well as strengthening their relationship. By the time he moved them into his new home, Anison had already slipped up and called him 'Daddy.' It took Connor longer to make the transition but Embry told him it was entirely up to him.

The formal adoption had gone through recently and they were officially a family. He and Bella married only weeks before Takoda arrived. The Harringtons pitched a fit with her at first because of their grief but the other son, Brad got them to back down when they threatened to fight them with legal action over custody. Both sides eventually developed a mutual respect and the kids got to see Bret's family often.

* * *

He would've never predicted such a journey for the two of them. He had no idea his miserable self-loathing behavior would've propelled Bella into such a harsh, tumultuous existence.

She recently said she had no regrets. Her children were her world and she was grateful that she and Bret accomplished a few beautiful things despite a lot of heartache. Embry still visited Jacob's gravesite often. He would sit in silence a great deal of the time just to remember. Many times he'd let him know, "I got her. She's okay. I'll love her like she deserves from here on out. She smiles all the time. I know I make her happy." He never understood why they had to lose him but he and Bella made the decision to live their lives to the fullest. It was their way of honoring his memory. They agreed to name their son Takoda Jacob together. It seemed like the right thing to do. His name had meaning and purpose, "friend to everyone."

Embry heard noise from the nursery before anyone else, so he made his way inside to get Kody out of the crib before he climbed out himself. He'd been getting a little more daring each day and he'd barely turned two in the spring. Bella said it was time to break down the crib into a toddler bed. That was probably on the agenda after the beach.

Maybe, Bella would be impressed with his initiative and he'd get lucky when the kids went to bed. He really wanted to go for another kid. Being a father was a gift he never realized he desired. Doing the parent thing with the love of his life made it an even sweeter deal.

He hoped he gave her a good life. She'd been through so much and he couldn't protect from every bad thing but he tried his damnedest.

When Bella saw Takoda all decked out in swim trunks and a cotton tee, she raved, "There's my handsome man. Did you have a good rest?" Kody reached for her and she lifted him and spun them around causing their son to giggle with glee.

"Hey, remember me? You used to call me the handsome once." Connor and Anison joined them and were bouncing off the walls with excitement. It was finally warm enough for a day at the beach.

Bella pinched his ass when the kids were occupied gathering the rest of their possessions for the car.

"For the record, you're very handsome still. All my guys are heartbreakers."

"And our daughter's a beauty, like her mom."

"I love you. Are you sure we're ready to do it again? I mean the bakery's expanding, so I'm needed more often at work. Your photography business is booming." Who knew kids' photography was a pretty lucrative business. His clientele had changed some over the past year and half. Once, he started taking pictures of his kids, Bella insisted he start up a new side to his business. In his opinion, they were way easier than finicky models.

He hushed her with a sizzling kiss. "Yes, I'm sure. I think I know you pretty well and last week when Seth was over with his family, you got a look in your eyes after holding the new one."

"Yeah, she was so cute and smelled so sweet."

"Bella, if you really believe that we're done then I'll accept that. You're the one that carries the baby and does most of the work when you have a newborn. However, don't use work as an excuse. We both make our own hours and I highly doubt when we're Dad's and Charlie's ages, we'll sit around and say days at work were our best memories."

"I love my job and I know you do too, but of course my best memories are days like today... all of us together and happy. You're right. Damn you, Call. You always could convince me of just about anything."

"So, it's a yes, Mrs. Call?"

"No, it's a hell yes. You want me to carry your baby again. Of course, I want that."

"We'll need to practice... like all the time, you know?"

"Well, maybe not. I heard once it's better to do it every other day to let the sperm count build up."

He shook his head in disagreement. "That's not how it works with the wolves. We need to do it as often as possible." He was having such a tough time keeping his hands to himself. She felt so good pressed up against him.

He had no idea if what he was saying was true, but none of the pack had any troubles getting their mates pregnant. They would surely succeed. He also reminded her how twins ran in his family. Maybe they'd get a twofer.

* * *

The beach turned out to be a blast. Most of their friends showed up. Bella sent a text to the dad's on the way over and planned a family dinner. They'd have everyone over and cook out on the grill.

Embry was tossing the football around with Connor. He was ready for the peewee league when school started back up.

"You're getting pretty good there, son."

"I can throw farther now, but not as far as you or as hard."

"Well, I'm bigger, you'll get there." Embry wished someone would have taken the time to play ball with him when he was a kid. Sometimes, when he was with the guys, their dads would take some time to encourage him, but he always felt like they were only feeling sorry for him. He didn't hold it against Billy. They were so far past all that. He was just glad he had a real father to share his life with finally. He loved the way he showered their kids with love and devotion.

"Yeah, but you're a wolf. I'll never be as good as you. Flint and River will be wolves, so will Dakota, Takoda and all the other boys."

"Well, we don't know for sure what will happen in the next generation, but you're part of our pack no matter what. All kids and mates are part of the pack. We explained that to you when Mom and I told you the secret."

"I wish I could protect Mom and Annie like you. Even Kody will protect her better than I ever can when he grows up."

Embry knew his boy was on the sensitive side. Poor kid saw more than any kid his age ever should. He reminded him he was important to his mom for many other reasons. "You're so talented. You're art is amazing for a kid your age. You actually inspire your mom and that's a gift. I know. My business has allowed me to meet many successful artists. You realize most of the kids at school are all human just like you. You're also advanced in soccer, baseball and football. I'd say that's pretty damned special even though you don't have the wolf gene. We're proud of you always."

Connor wrapped both his arms around Embry. "I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, son. Let's go find your mother and get something to eat."

They had a seat on the beach blanket. The kids quickly got distracted with some scheme Paul's sons were cooking up. Bella thought they were going to get Kim's and Emily's girls wet with a couple of buckets of water.

"You and Con looked like you were deep in conversation, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he was just down on himself briefly, worried he'll never be good enough. I talked him down. It's cool."

She started laughing.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just he kinda sounds like some people I know."

"Oh yeah, who?"

"Us… his parents."

"You might be onto something. We'll have to be careful and always put a halt to that line of thinking."

"Yes, or he might end up like us."

"We're not so bad," Embry could finally say that with a straight face.

"But we haven't always been this normal."

"I wish we could protect them from every bad thing in the world."

"Me too, but that's not possible. We just need to love them unconditionally, Emb... like we have been doing."

* * *

The last minute party wound down about eleven. The kids had crashed without incidence. Embry cleaned up the last of the mess while Bella tucked Kody in his new toddler bed. He hoped the freedom didn't encourage him to come to their room whenever he felt like it. Bella said they should be fine until five or six in the morning. That was when he sometimes got restless.

He found her soaking in the garden tub when he headed to bed. She had her head resting on the back of the tub. Her eyes were closed. He tried to be extremely stealth.

"I know you're there, Emb. Were you going to scare me?"

"No, but I was going to sneak in the bath with you." He raised his eyebrows at her. "You up for that?"

She moved to the front. "Yes, but soap up my back first."

He quickly shed the rest of his clothes and slipped in behind her. She handed him her favorite body wash. He took his time massaging it in, getting her nice and sudsy.

"I'm pretty sure I'm clean, Babe."

His hands drifted around to her front. "Then I should keep on. I'm trying to get you dirty."

* * *

The loving that night was so good... so special, like always. Embry held her against his chest and relished every part of her.

"I loved today so much," Bella stated.

"Yeah me too."

"Maybe we topped it off with a new addition to our little family."

"Hope so." He already knew so. Bella was sublimely ripe. He smelt it from the moment they woke up that morning.

Bella lifted up a little, so they could see each other.

"I don't know where I'd be right now if you hadn't rescued me, more than once." She kissed the tip of his nose.

"I could say the very same thing to you, Bella. It's safe to say, we saved each other."

*****THE END*****

_**~Thanks for reading.**_

**_I'm so appreciative to everyone that gave this story a try. I know it wasn't easy at times, but I feel pleased with the responses. I even kept the interest of some of my diehard #TeamJacobs. I adore all my readers. _**


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